Hot, fat and sticky. - weather and men, making me crazy

If your initial thought was "she's going to write about food this week", you're wrong.

It has been hot here in NY. So hot that I had to actually turn on the air conditioner - which in turn, gave me a cold. The kind of cold where you're hot and yet your skin is cold and clammy. With all the other health stuff I've dealt with this summer, this was the last thing I need. Then again in the grand scheme of things, this is no big deal.

The last time I wrote it was about things that made me go "Grrrr". I thought I was done, no such luck. I'm hoping you can help me understand the following:

Men playing sports, getting paid a lot of money and then throwing it away. WHY?

I was asked if I thought Michael Vick being reinstated by the NFL Commissioner was fair especially since Pete Rose is still fighting to be instated into the Hall of Fame. Since I like sports I figured I would try to tackle this.

Let's begin with Michael Vick. He did a stupid, vile, unimaginable thing. Ok, I said it to get that out of the way. However, he went to prison and served his legal debt to society, and I think he should be allowed to try to put back together his life. Our prison systems have always said that they were creating a place where prisoners could be rehabilitated no matter what their crime. Not all can be, but at least they are given the opportunity to be. If we don't allow people who have served their time back into society, they'll just remain predators. Do I have a very decided line on hardened criminals (sexual predictors, murders) yes! Do I think Michael Vick falls into that category, no. He was just stupid - and acting stupidly is his crime.

What the commissioner has done by having him reinstated, represents the league (all of them). Now, if no team wanted to sign him because of the issues that will come with him, that's one thing. However this is purely a business decision - you know dollars/cents. The Philadelphia Eagles see him as an asset. He came cheap, and yes he has the skill to bring them a much needed/wanted title. It's just like having a 'normal' job - as long as you produce, make the boss look good, prove your worth, you're wanted. The moment you no longer can produce to benefit their profit margin - "see ya, wouldn't want to be ya."

Michael Vick, Plaxo both have to realize that they are not finding a cure for cancer, they are playing a sport. To be able to do what they do is a privilege not a right. Maybe they won't be as cocky. Maybe they will appreciate the talent they were given. Maybe they won't think the but for them goes the team. Vick the world is watching, and Plaxo...you'll get your turn in a few years. Do your time, learn your lesson and please don't do it again. If either of you do - they you absolutely deserve what you get.

Pete Rose, this is a totally different ball in play. It may sound crazy but, baseball has a "morality code" written in the bylaws for consideration that 'a player's personal conduct should be considered not just his abilities as a player'. To the best of my knowledge, football doesn't have such a clause - it's just about how you play and how many games we can win. Rose committed the ultimate sin in sports. He bet on his own game. Even people who don't follow sports understand that the integrity of the game was marred when he did that. If players and managers are betting on their sport, their own team (either for/against) then you can't be sure they aren't fixing things to win those bets.

We as a society want to hold celebrities and sports personalities up to a standard of almost demi-god. When they fall from grace, then we treat them a lot like gum on our shoe. We are as fickle as we are loyal to our team. Like people in Europe, you are 'born into' a team and heaven forbid you decide you don't like them anymore.

People, we are the ones that are paying crazy money for tickets to see players/these games and we should no must, hold players, managers, teams and the league accountable. There can't be any doubt in the integrity of the team or its players. These are the people that young boys (and girls) hold up as heroes. Maybe their parents should be the real hero, but that's another story. I'm all for giving opportunities and having people being proven guilty vs. innocent, but come on! If you were 170 at the end of the season and after 4 months off, you are now 260 - either you need to push back from the table or those "vitamins" that you are being injected with are not what they seem.

Barry Bonds, Clemens, McGuire, Sosa, A-Rod - all of these guys 'allegedly' use steroids in one form or another. I tell you, I want to reach through the tv and smack them when they say "he just gave me a shot - I thought it was a vitamin". HOW DUMB ARE YOU?? They were good ball players to begin with and just threw it all away. You just didn't think you would get caught. You thought your 'name' made you 'untouchable'. Hmmmm talk about ego!

I once has a boss who said ALL THE TIME "There are no tears in baseball". I'm not sure what she meant by it, but I do know that Plaxo, Vic and Rose (and a lot more players before it's done), will be shedding tears. I don't think so much for loss of their 'star' status as much as their 'star paycheck'.

Race, Relations, and things that make me go Grrrrrrrrrr

I've been a bit busy - trying to do things that are necessary in my life. I'm hoping that at least some of them, if not all, will be fruitful and bring into my life what I wish. What those things are - I'll blog about in the future.

Today I've finally had a few moments to write some thoughts on what has had me scratching my head, made me angry, and just throwing up my hands.

President Obama, Sgt. Crowley, Prof. Louis Gates.
The topic of race was too quiet...like the elephant in the room. Sadly, it's come out like a lion roaring and I don't know if it has divided the nation anymore than it has, when we should be more focused on health care, getting jobs and the return of the economy.

However, for some people, it's apparently getting increasingly hard to effectively conceal their racism, especially when it comes to dealing with the media. In a story two weeks ago emerged amongst the unavoidable Gates/Crowley fiasco, Cambridge police officer Justin Barrett has somehow managed to put himself in some deep... excrement. (this just says that while Sgt. Crowley may not be a 'racist' there are people in the Cambridge Police dept., the same one that he belongs to that are!)

He was put on paid administrative leave after he mass-mailed a racist, bigoted email to the Boston Globe and members of his National Guard unit, in which he continuously referred to professor Henry Louis Gates Jr as a "jungle monkey." Actually here are some of Barrett's original statement's:

"If I was the officer he verbally assaulted like a banana-eating jungle-monkey, I would have sprayed him in the face with OC deserving of his belligerent non-compliance." He went on further to say "I am not a racist but I am prejudice towards people who are stupid and pretend to stand up and preach for something they say is freedom but it is merely attention because you do not get enough of it in your little fear-dwelling circle of on-the-bandwagon followers."

What saddens me is that the people who demonstrate this type of behavior are more remorseful for getting caught and how they "worded" their statements more so than recognizing the social implications of their actions. In other words 'Open mouth, insert your entire leg!' This is someone who had HE been the one to respond that day, we may have had a VERY different outcome.

Now before you say I'm not responding to Pres. Obamas comments, I can only say that he is a man who may/or not have been a victim of racism himself, I don't know. Should he have used the words " acted stupidly", I don't know. In the end, there are no words that would have been good enough. Any words would have been taken out of context.

For people to presume that just because the U.S. has a black president in the white house is going to make things better; to think racism disappeared the moment he won is beyond sadly mistaken. How do you fix it? I'm not sure. I think that we should go back to our childhood when we all played with each other - with total disregard to skin color. Racism is taught; it's a learned behavior. I know people who have grown up with racist parents (this included color, religion and everything else) and they choose, to allow people into their lives based on who they are "not the color of their skin". Maybe that's too simplistic - maybe I want to believe that most people are good, sadly I know they are not.


Do I think the "Beer at the Rose garden" was as 'sweet' as it smelled, absolutely not. I believe that it was a photo-op. Let's face it...being called to the Oval office is akin to being called to the principals office.

Relations with other countries and each other.
I know Lisa Ling. She is an amazing woman, journalist and someone whose intellect I admire. I am beyond thrilled that her sister Laura Ling and editor Euna Lee are freed from captivity. What I want to know and may never know is why and how they were captured. Let me say upfront, I am not criticizing them, this was not their fault, they were 'just on the job'. I have been on the border of two countries and immediately knew where the country line was drawn...there were armed guards that told me.

I'm wondering if the area they were filming, contained no signs of warning, or police and if not...if they were just steps into N.Korea, then how and where did the military come from to arrest them? It just seems to me that they were (intentionally or not) further into N.Korea than we honestly know. Does this mean they should have been put in jail and sentenced to 12yrs of hard time - absolutely not. There are other journalists, political prisoners and perhaps many others that we will never know because of their 'non-status', who are arrested and in prisons with no chance of getting out.

Ah...former President Clinton to the rescue. I am a fan - yes I said it. I voted for him, worked on his campaign as a volunteer and think he did a good job. I am sad that I don't remember any interaction with Pres. Clinton and Kim Jong-il - the cynic in me wants to say that Kim Jong wanted Pres. Clinton to 'eat a bit of crow' for something in the past, but I have no evidence to back that up. What I do appreciate is that he passed no official messages and made no promises during his mission. N. Korea is still a country that needs to re-think it's policies.

To wrap this up, I hope that we can now get back to what's important: the economy, jobs, health care. For those critics of Pres Obama, look the man has only been in office for 8 months! If he hasn't made a real change by the end of the year, the I just might join you on the "Where is the Change?" bandwagon.

Can you believe that summer is 1/2 over already?

Wacky weather is what’s been going on here in NY. Actually, I’ve been enjoying it. Sunny days or “wake you up from your sleep” kind of storms at night. I love that I can wake up the next morning and its cool and clean – a great way to start the day.

This year hasn’t been like others when it comes to weather – I don’t think we’ve even hit 90 yet. Not that I mind…it saves on the electric bill, which is a good thing.

So what’s new on the list? A Lot!

I’ve looked at my 25 list and realize that I’ve accomplished almost 1/2. I’m pretty proud of that. Yes, there are a few more to go, but I think I can get them done by the end of the year.

There are tons of friends that have traveled this summer – to Fire Island (NY), San Sano (Italy), London (UK) and New Orleans (LA) – hey I want my pralines Kelli!! J It’s been fun hearing about their adventures as I begin to plan my own. After all, it’s been a while since I’ve been anywhere fun and I deserve it. So…as I dream…London, Amsterdam, San Francisco are on my short list…but even shorter is a trip to Montreal, which I will be doing in Sept. YEA!! This other little writing project I have, has presented an opportunity to visit a destination in Montreal, at the expense of the vendor. Totally rocks right?! One of the last times I was there, was so much fun and the people were truly amazing. Yes, really looking forward to this. I’ll absolutely post pictures when I do.

This also makes me think what do I want to do for the rest of the year.

A Job is an absolute.

“Perfect” health – or at least really, really close.

Finish the book (3/4 there, but I’ve already written the last chapter)

Spend time with my family and friends. There are so many additions to both; it will be nice to hang out with them.

Be content that I’m a work in progress and the final masterpiece will be spectacular. Lol

Guess I should get started huh?

A good quote can make you go hmmmm

A few days ago I happened upon this quote:

"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." ~ R. Buckminster Fuller

I thought to myself – this is the story of my life…or at least the life I have lived the last 3.5 yrs. My reality was as follows:

I can no longer wear heels

I can no longer eat what I want to because it clogs the illy

I can’t go anywhere without fear that this bag will explode – which it has done several times

I can no longer be in a bikini

I am no longer sexy or appealing to anyone

I can no longer wear form-fitting clothes or anything smaller than a size14

I will never be able to function like I did before

I will never be able to trust people I thought of as friends, family, or any other title given again

I will always feel let-down, disappointed

No one truly understands what it’s like to live like this day in, day out

I will just have to fake it until it becomes a part of life like brushing my teeth

I will have to fake it because

I won’t ever feel whole again.

These are just a few of the things I battled daily – no hourly with living with an ileostomy. I often felt like the stereotypical ‘fat’ person…you never see a sad ‘fat’ person…so those moments – the real moments when pain ripped though my body, moments when I spent hours crying because that was truly all I could do, when asked I simply responded “I’m fine” because the history with some was “they really don’t want to hear the truth anyway”.

So life is taking on a different reality – it’s a 2 X 2.5 X 2.5 hole that is where my ‘illy’ used to be. By all things natural I’m thrilled even as I look at the crater that is packed with gauze daily by my nurse. I know that it will close itself in a few weeks and then as someone said “life will get back to normal”. My question is “what is that?” What is ‘normal’?

This quote makes me think about my life, my family, my friends…and what reality is. Reality isn’t that they necessarily stop caring – they just go on with life. Reality isn’t necessarily that after an event that is important to YOU (meaning me!!) should be allowed to be minimized by people who have no clue to what you’ve gone through and even less to whom you really are. Reality doesn’t mean that there won’t be moments of sadness, or tears or still an occasional pity-party. Reality is that each of us heals on our own time. No one can rush the process; no one can tell you to get over it; no one can take away what is your present reality.

So what does this have to do with the quote…well my changes started in December and yes I still have my faults. A lot of them perhaps, but I’m not the same person I was circa 2006. I’m not the same person I was circa June 30, 2009. I’m hoping I won’t be the same person in a few months from now. I’m hoping I’ll be more grounded, more self-assured, more confident. I don’t want to be the ‘old Lisa’…I couldn’t even if I did want to. That person in effect – died and so did some of her dreams. What I want is for people who are my friends, for my family, to acknowledge that this was a journey that I traveled alone. Even with well wishes, and prayer…it was something – no an existence that I lived alone. Daily. Now, I’m moving past it – maybe not as quickly as you would like…hey, it’s not as quickly as I would like, but there is another Lisa that will emerge out of the ashes, like a Phoenix and I will fly again. I will live again. I AM Living Now.

I guess the moral of this as I re-read what I’ve just written…is ‘closure’ is finally happening.

What's the count on the 'to do' list?

There are a few that I still have to do:
Loose 30 lbs
Dance under the stars with someone I love
Read the entire New Testament
Publish my book
Wear something really expensive and sexy (even though I have no clue where I would wear such a thing...does just trying it on in the dressing room count??)
Travel to Dubai
Stay at a 5-star hotel and
Be an extra in a film/video (I don't think that's going to happen this year so I'm being kind to myself and giving myself a pass!)

As I look over the entire list, I think I've done really, really well. I think I've accomplished more than most people have and it proves to me that if I write it down, I can make it happen (as long as I don't loose the tiny little slip of paper I wrote it on!)

I'll keep you posted as things progress...now...back to writing more chapters for this book. Funny enough...it's given me an idea for a second story...yup the creative juices are flowing...now if there were only more hours in the day...