Did I do 25 in 52?

As I go over the list - I have mixed feelings.

The 'old' me is saying "you said you would do all these and you didn't - you failed".
The new me is saying "you really did 3/4 of them and that totally rocks!!"

So what didn't I complete....you know, the only one I'll disclose is the bikini. I didn't go any where warm and the scar still has me freaked out a bit, so no bikini in 09', but look out 2010.

It's funny that thing they call self-talk. What I find is that I spend more time than I need, finding my faults instead of saluting all the good things about myself. I have gotten a lot better, but I still have moments of doubt, despair and just plain fear. I wasn't one who got scared before, I don't know where it came from but it's here. You know, those moments of panic that I forgot someones birthday, or did I lock the car door, or is my zipper up?

Well there will be a new list next year, as soon as I can figure out what I want. Will I add the things I didn't finish this year...hmmm, maybe not. Maybe there aren't supposed to be finished, but just there for me to dream about. Maybe they were there as a stepping stone for my true self to dare to come into being again. Maybe, they were there, just because it sounded good. I don't know - I'm not that smart, nor that sneaky and frankly, it's way too early in the AM to ponder it.

I do know that I'm going to begin a list of things I want to do in the next 10 years and they will be BIG. I'm thinking...about 3-5 per year and if I do them out of order, or finish them up before that particular year is over,...I'll just move to the next year and add new dreams on the back end.

Yea, that's the ticket. So I hope you are dreaming big and if you have any suggestions, let me know. After all, you never know...