Is the New Year really a beginning

So Happy New Year.

That time when most people around the world look forward to closing the door on the past 365 days and open themselves to the beginning of something new. Like the birth of a baby, we move toward the 'new' year with wonderment and hope. Sometimes it just makes me wonder if we are just fooling ourselves.

You see all the commercials "New Year, New You!", and this time is the best time (well, besides 60 days before summer, or your wedding, or any major holiday when you want to wear something that pulls the focus on your body) to begin that exercise program or diet. I want to scream that this amount of commercialism is truly just a ploy to set a person up for failure. I mean, we all march into it with the best of intentions, and then 21 days later, that Lemon cake, or mound of pasta is calling...no SCREAMING...EAT, just 1 bite!! Well 3lbs of pasta and 1/2 a chocolate cake later...is that New You, the YOU, you wanted to be?

I've been told, as I'm sure you have, "Where one door closes, another opens". Well what happens when all the doors look the same, or there are doors no more? Makes me wish I lived on an island where the windows were open all the time, and locked doors not necessary.

I'm not sure if after all the confetti has been cleaned up, and champagne bottles are in the trash, will make a person forget the previous years pain, disappointment, struggles, or tears. Likewise, I'm not sure if the eternal optimist will say that there is something to be learned by it...I know for me...the last 353 days have been a mix of pain, sadness, and yes, even an occasional laugh. For me, there was no 'real new year', because I'm sadly still a product of 2007's medical issues. Even on Jan 18 - 365 days after this journey began, it won't even be an end...it will just be another day, trying to survive, being brave and leaning on faith.

I don't think that this New Year, New Me will happen until I get the news...the last surgery was a success and we're in the home stretch.
Then I can celebrate.
That will be the day that I drink champagne, and sing Happy Days are here again.
That will be the day I can truly have my cake...and eat it too!