What does 1247, the number 5 and June 30 have in common?

Re-print of a letter I sent to my friends about 10 days ago. I would hum the "Jeopardy" theme song here, but I won't. Instead give me a few moments to share something with you.

Jan 18th, will always be the day that changed my life in more ways than I can count. It was the day that I had my hysterectomy and began a life with an ileostomy. As you all know, it's been a constant roller coaster ride with doctors, surgeries, life changes, emotions, etc. Through it all, those of you I now send this too have been my support, have prayed with me, cried with me, held me up, stood with me when I was in a good mood and those days that were horrible, tried to understand and provided cocktails and wet noses when that was needed. It's been a trip and honestly, didn't like the ride. (no news flash here!)

This past December I gave it up to God. After the absolute nightmare of living in Boston (the exception being Dr. Goldberg at Brigham Womans in Boston who explained everything clearly and told me my options and continues to take my calls, and Sophia who was an angel that morning after Halloween in Beacon Hill and every email after), struggling to find a job, coming back home was the best thing.

* Being in the care of doctors at Sloane-Kettering and in therapy was where I needed to be to deal with my issues.

* For being in the arms of the "Women of Cornerstone - my sisters" who were the first people I spoke aloud my hurt, sadness, fear, disgust, disappointment; they prayed with and for me, in a way I needed. They never judged me and always asked "are there anymore tissues??" after I shared. :-) Thanks L. I-S., for the blind-sided birthday gift when in reality, YOU and your girls are the gift to me. :-)

* I also think, no know the writing program ('Visible Ink') at Sloane-Kettering helped me write it out. Telling MY story was the key to releasing all of this. The written word somehow is more powerful or maybe, it's just easier understood. I can't thank my editor enough for knowing exactly how much to push, being an additional support system and knowing when to just let me be - but for not too long. She is not only my editor, she is a dear friend.


* Finally there is Ms. Patti LaBelle who sang "New Attitude" a night I was in the middle of a deep despair, pain, guilt and sense of loss. It was the moment that changed my life. Hey if it's going to be changed, why not by someone like Patti?

I'm getting to the point - just hang with me a bit longer.

This New Year, I was going to have - or at least try to have a 'New Attitude' regarding living with the ileostomy as January 20, was to be my 5th surgery. It was in my head and heart, going to be the last one and I was ok with it - finally. If you've ever had surgery that's one thing...to have 5 and have the results remain the same, to have your hopes of it being a success only to find out it wasn't, it's another. Nope not going through it again; I was going to create a new life and live-life. I'd let these 3 yrs change me and not all the changes were good. Took a while, but I learned.

After much waiting since Jan., tests, a false/positive, another test, doctor on vacation (not once but twice, then him sick), the results are final and positive. So number 5 was the magic number. The ileostomy will be reversed.

So after 1247 days (and if you add each number and reduce to a single number, it is 5), June 30th I will have the reversal of the ileostomy. How crazy is that?? I know technically that will be surgery #6, thereby shooting my 5 being the magic number to shreds so please, don't point it out - I already know. :-)

To those of you who were there from the beginning, middle or end; to those who never left me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support, love and understanding - even if you didn't always understand or thought I should "get over it already/move past it". Please continue to hold me in your prayers and bear with me a bit longer as my body re-learns how to function and what emotions that may bring. For those of you who were able to share in the reading of "Thank you Ms.Patti" with me that night 2 months ago (esp you mom), you saw me feeling better about myself. It was the happiest I've been in a LONG time and I can't thank you enough for coming (esp. my NJ/NC crew). I've learned a lot about myself, family, friendships and life during this time.

Let me say that I continue to pray that this is the last surgery I will ever have, only time will tell. Even though you looked at me and didn't see a bag hanging from me, it was there. I will forever be different because of this experience and the scar a reminder. As I said, there is going to be a 're-learning' period of bodily function (is that too graphic??), but I look forward to loosing the weight, wearing my heels (which had to be put away and you know I love me some Manalos), getting better and having my body back. I hope to have the story of this experience finished by Aug/Sept. The names have been changed but you'll know who you are. :-) I can't wait to share in the 'birth' of this novel with you.