Are we a marriage-disposable nation?

Photo of Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil by: Bauer-GriffinI'll admit, I'm a sucker for entertainment ("news") gossip. Not so much the where is Britney shopping at 2:00am, or who was seen at what "give-me-all-the-freebies-you-can" at Sundance. [Let me say...I've nothing against a 'gifting', but when you make a few million a movie, do you really want me to believe you can't afford the $250.00 jeans you're wearing.]

I am one of those completely hopeless romantics that likes the celebrity couples - any couple who are together, loving, laughing, holding hands, and in it for the long hall. Of course you never know what happens behind those closed doors, but I want to believe that they are happy. I want to believe that there is a happily-ever-after, because if you don't believe...what else is there?

I'm also a tech-a-holic..I love technology. The fact is, things used to take hours, days, weeks, months to find. Now...click, click and here it is.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

What really gets me is that in this day of modern technology, we seem to be creating a generation of "must have it ALL now, and if I don't like it...throw it away". Everything must be instant, bigger and better than anyone...EVER. If it's not, then move on to the next bigger, better, faster...

So I found this really interesting. Amy Weinhouse is a celebrity, and for all her many 'unique' qualities, she believes in long term, and is willing to fight for it. Blake Fielder-Civil, who's been rumored to be threatening to divorce Amy can't, and being behind bars has nothing to do with it.

"Under English law no divorce proceedings could be commenced until a year has passed since the date of the marriage," says Alison Green, head of the family law department at Mackrell Turner Garrett's London office. They will be married 1 year in May 2008.

Maybe the English have something here. They know that even in the best of circumstances, the first year (and sometimes second, and third year) of marriage can be difficult - so give it a chance, don't be so quick to throw it away.

When I look at some of the recent celebrity marriages (elaborate, expensive and photographed for the world to see) and their divorces (where they seek their privacy-does anyone else see the contradiction), it makes me wonder "just how much work do you do, to make it work after the party's over, and the press goes home?" What causes the pledge for life one moment, and then the fighting over the dog the next??

For the rest of the human population, disposable marriages begin when he leaves the toilet seat up - you threaten to glue it down; she wants you to hang out with her instead of going out with your friends - she's a nag; the dreaded conversation of saving money, buying a home, the "X-factor", children, 'in-laws'...ARGH!!!

No one ever said that it would be easy. Some dream of their wedding, others just look for the gifts they can return and cash in for ... the $250.00 jeans. For someone like me who has parents still together after 46 years, loving, laughing, holding hands, cuddling and being friends - that's what I want.

Of course like life, nothing is promised.

So does that mean you should throw away your relationship - or cash in that All-Clad, just because it's not perfect...not just yet. Let's learn a bit from the British. Unplug the microwave of life and love. Let's not make things so black/white; right/wrong; you vs.me; or life/death (unless it truly is). Let's slow down, and let our relationships cook on a slow flame. Put minor disagreements on the back-burner. Make you and your partner - the person YOU CHOOSE, the main ingredient...the "X" should be just that...X'd out of your lives! Stir gently, yet constantly, add lots of things that are healthy, and a dash of spice. Allow for the true richness of your relationship to blend, become hearty, and hopefully last a life-time.

I know this is my view...but what do you think?