Valentine’s Day celebrates gestures of love and affection as much as it does romance.The history of this annual event revolves around several legends, including an ancient pagan purification and fertility festival called the Feast of Lupercalia, which, in about 498, A.D., Pope Gelasius declared officially as February 14. But Valentine’s Day speaks primarily, to the legend of a Roman named Valentine, the third-century A.D. priest who secretly married young men and women when Emperor Claudius II outlawed marriage. The emperor felt that young men did not join the armies he needed so badly at the time, because they did not want to leave their wives and families. Valentine disagreed. For his compassion, Valentine was eventually imprisoned and beheaded.
During his confinement, it is said that Valentine fell in love with the jailer’s daughter. Before his death, the priest apparently wrote a farewell love letter to his sweetheart , which he signed ‘From your Valentine’ — a sentiment that became quite popular and continues today.
The oldest known Valentine is from Charles, Duke d’Orleans. While imprisoned in the tower of London, the Duke wrote a note to his wife that later inspired one sent from King Henry V to Catherine of Valois. By the mid-eighteenth century, men and women would commonly exchange tokens of affection and letters, and printed cards became available in the mid-eighteenth century. Today, more than a billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year in the U.S.
We also exchange about 180 million roses on this sentimental day. Why flowers? Perhaps we can trace them back to Father Valentine, as well. It is said that some of the young couples whom Father Valentine married in secret would visit him in jail, bringing with them notes of gratitude and flowers ... which leads me to our story.
For Valentine’s Day this year, I suggested to people that it be skipped. Girlfriends gasped...Malefriends...cheered. Yea...the fella's like me for this one.
WHY???
Let me suggest that I am the most sentimental person you will ever 'meet'. I love the holidays, I remember everyones birthday and send cards, I love any reason to celebrate. This is however, the one holiday I feel deeply for my male friends. Where are their flowers, or chocolates? Ok, some suggest that a man that goes to Victoria's Secret to buy his lady love a little...somethin'-somethin' is really buying it for himself. I agree. This way both are happy (unless he buys the wrong size...but that's another topic).
The foundation of St. Valentine was based on the heart - not the pocketbook. Frankly, I crave the written word. We as a society no longer take the time to express how we feel to each other. We don't write anymore - no I don't mean emails...I mean the 'old-fashioned' pen to paper. Getting a card and just signing it - doesn't do it for me, nor many of the women I know. Even the obligatory "I love you" seems to have lost it's passion. Guys, women want PASSION. Yes the flowers are nice - but bring them home on an off Wednesday...just because. The candy is nice, if you like that sort of thing (I'm not a fan of chocolate). Find out what that 'thing' is for your lady love. If it's the movies...then take in the chick-flick without complaining. If saving for a house, vacation, or some other big ticket item is what she wants...then just MAKE THE CARD!! Get to know your woman.
Ladies I'm not saying that you should lower your expectations of being treated a bit extra-special, but fair is fair. How about arranging it so the 'boys' can have uninterrupted game time the weekend before/after Valentine's day. If you can afford it, get tickets to a game (if it's NBA All-Star Weekend 2009 (will be in Phoenix, Arizona, or Superbowl 2009 in Tampa, Fla, ...you'll be the best ever for years to come) If you can't afford tickets, then no interruptions, finger food, and ask if you can join them. You might be surprised if your honey says "yes". If he says 'no', then this is time for you to retreat to the other room, or go spend time with your girlfriends. Don't take it personally, but show you care enough to make sure that there is enough food and drink for them, and when you come back to the house, and if it's a bit of a mess don't complain, just clean it up. After all it's just 1 day and this was your way of giving him what he wants. You may be surprised. He may be so grateful that he helps without you having to ask. Now, if you know he wants nothing more than to spend time with you, then YOU go to Victoria's Secret - no you BOTH go, and get something you both will enjoy.
Personally, I think that the 'love' that you're supposed to express on February 14th should be a year long thing. I can't see fighting 364 days of the year, and then on this day having a truce just because some sort of gift is expected. I hate the fact that the price of red flowers, not just roses triples and the poor guys are 'forced' to buy them. I think the need to buy something - anything just so you don't come to your partner empty handed, is crazy. I'd rather get a passion filled sentimental card, and flowers when they are least expected wouldn't you?? I know a lot of people will disagree with me, and that's fine. Remember in the end flowers die, but the thoughtfulness of your written word, unselfish act, or your year-long demonstration to your partner that you honor your relationship, will live a lot longer.
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