Selfish Birthday post!!

So I want to take a moment and thank the following people who remembered my birthday:

My Family and Friends: Mom and Dad, My brother Bryant; Alessandra, Mark, Patricia, Michelle B. and Michelle R., Robert, Yolanda, Rich S. and Rich W., Stephanie B. (both of you), Lynne, Merilee, Karen, Justine, Kim, Allison, Lisa S., April, Todd, Pam S. (both of you), Kit-Kat, John, Tarshene, Sue, Butchy, Dominique, Troy, Kelly, Michael, Nigel, Barry, Aunt Jan., Father Louie, Linda, the girls at Dukes, the staff at Beacon, Trump Plaza bar and DelFriscos.

Thanks to you all for remembering and for making this day (even though a non-birthday as some of you reminded me) special.

How can I be sad because the 1 person that should have remembered, didn't, when I have so many people that did?

Life is good right??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

You know what... I'm way too sensitive. I just have to laugh at my self because I am a true Pisces. I have the expectation of romance, love in the air, and everyone thinking things like...birthdays are a big deal.

What I've come to realize as I hung up the phone with my dad (as today really is HIS birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!) the people that love you make it special, even when it's not.

What?? How can I say it's my birthday...but it's not really?? Well being born on Leap Year means that I only have one every 4 years. As a kid - it sucked (some days still does) as I was constantly made fun of and told that "you don't have a real birthday". I learned to deal with it because my dad and I celebrated together. Both my parents made it fun. As I got older, I made it special by traveling the world and being with family and friends. Turning 40 (or leap year 10) was a BLAST. But now...the off-year, when it's not like I'm turning a true milestone year, it's just...well...off.



I know cry me a river. There's massive unemployment and people are losing everything and all I have to do is cry about a birthday? Well, you know what it's important to me. I do have a few friends like Barry who threw me a wonderful dinner party the other night. Besides the fact that he is a dear friend (and reads this faithfully), he is one of the kindest most considerate people in my life. I've had a few people I've not heard from for YEARS, send me cards or call. I think when it's someone you've lost touch with, but they STILL take the time to remember you, on your day - that means the most. Of course mom and dad called me just after the crack of dawn, and we did our strange, LOUD and screeching birthday sing-a-long. I'm sure if you discovered a crack in your mirror - we did it. My brother called shortly there after. It's still early and if you want to be 'technical' my birthday isn't really until tomorrow (if there was a 29th) so people can still reach out and wish me a good year right??

Yes I know I'm splitting hairs. I know...I know, no expectations just hope this year right? Well then, I HOPE when you have a reason to celebrate with someone - your family or people you consider family, make it special for you. Mine do :-)

Chase takes it from the street

This past week I had a great opportunity. I was heading to my favorite addiction (Border bookstore) on my way to look for a book
when I happened upon an artist beginning to paint a very large mural. The air was thick with the smell of paint, not regular paint - spray paint. As I rounded the corner from the escalator I looked at the outline of this…design just at the beginning stages. Ok, so you have to understand…this was happening on Columbus Circle in NYC…not exactly the street capital of the world.

The ‘street’ artist Chase was just beginning to outline a project for “Western Union” on the second level of the shopping center. If you’re not familiar with Chase, let me tell you a bit about him.

Chase, a Belgium transplant now lives in Los Angeles and paints free murals around the world depicting young children with the text next to them saying: “Remember Who You Are”. Actually, he has many different ‘sayings’ that can be seen through out his various works. While he did formally study art, it seems he was ‘kicked out of art school’ and only then found his true voice.

He says” Painting seems to be a source of happiness for me, when a few days go by without having painted; I feel the need to re-connect with myself through painting. I get psyched on the smallest variations in my work, and the meditative aspect of it is not unimportant either. Once a work is finished, I can’t wait to start another because I want to apply the new things I just thought of, no matter how small they may be…it gets addictive!”

I simply say his work is really cool and it’s really a pleasure to meet an artist whose work I have known and enjoyed around the world.

So why was he here – As I said Western Union was doing a presentation here in NYC and they wanted to get people interested in their product and what a better way then through art. The final piece will be moved to their corporate headquarters in Denver.

Some days it’s really pretty cool to walk around the city and see things. Sometimes the city…frankly is just the city. Other days it’s art where you least expect it.

Happy Fat Tuesday - It's Mardi Gras!!

Hey, Hey, Hey… it’s Fat Tuesday, or as they say in gay Paris, Mardi Gras. This giant festival of parades, great music and delicious food has been going on for weeks and sadly ends with a bang, on Mardi Gras Day in New Orleans.

Without a doubt, the most famous American celebration happens in New Orleans, but you can celebrate Mardi Gras anywhere. While I’m not throwing a party, I will be attending one where there will have some amazing jazz, Jester hats, jambalaya, and of course those beads!!! Did you know the bead color have meaning?? Purple (for justice), green (for faith) and gold (for power). I am looking for all 3 this year.


For those of you who have never been to a Mardi Gras, it is massive! It's marked by parades, parties, and the city of New Orleans has been celebrating it for more than 170 years! About 1.4 million people usually attend Mardi Gras, and that means a lot of money for the Crescent City. I’m sure not enough given they are still suffering so much after Hurricane Katrina, but every little bit helps.

Here are some interesting facts:

Pope Gregory XIII who made it a Christian holiday when, in 1582, he put it on his Gregorian calendar (the 12-month one we still use today). He placed Mardi Gras on the day before Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. That way, all the debauchery would be finished when it came time to fast and pray. It ends on Easter Sunday.

The first part of the Carnival season is invitation-only coronation balls and supper dances hosted by private clubs known as krewes. Some of these Krewes are open to the general public (read – FREE), while others are kept private (read – exclusive) for ‘fine old New Orleans Families’.

There is an on-going battle as to which city held the first Mardi Gras: Mobile (Alabama) or New Orleans (Louisiana).

There are nine parades on Mardi Gras, most notably Rex. This is the Parade where youmeet the “King” of the parade. The word ‘Rex’ means king.

A plastic baby is baked inside the King Cake, and whoever receives the baby in their piece of cake must buy the next King Cake, or throw the next party!








These are some of the dates for future Mardi Gras:
February 24, 2009
• February 16, 2010
• March 8, 2011
• February 21, 2012
• February 12, 2013
• March 4, 2014
• February 17, 2015

So no matter where you are, and if you can, this is a great reason to get together with friends and family to celebrate. In these troubling economic times, it doesn’t have to be expensive, just incorporate some simple fun things. Don’t forget if your Catholic, Lent (or the 40 days of fasting) begins tomorrow. So as they say in New Orleans...

‘Laissez les bon temps rouler! Let the Good Times Roll!!

25 things update...

Oh....it's really early in the morning and I can't sleep. So the TV is playing some ... something in the background and I'm here working on the 'great novel' and since I have a bit of a mental block (no comments from the peanut gallery people!!;-)) I decided to do a bit of blog clean-up.

As you know, I've given up the resolution and decided to just be productive and proactive this year. I've been working on 25 things to do in the next 52 weeks. I have no pressure to complete them, but they are pretty cool goals. What I noticed in the program is when you complete a goal - it takes it off your list - which in and of itself is a good thing...BUT...it also takes it off the list. So if you've been reading it, at one point it said "20 of 25 things"...NOW it says 25 again. I decided to re-post the entire list and then just subtract it via the blog. It's also one of my new tags so if you want to just view this progress just click on 25things. Make sense?

So here is an update of what I've been able to complete:
Go to 5 TV Shows:
I know for this may be no big deal since I've been on the show SO MANY TIMES BEFORE. I've been an actual guest and have my picture with Martha, Zac Posen in the amazing dress Zac custom made for me. OH The Dress!! I should take a pic of it and post it as that's as close as I'll ever come to wearing it again. Just imagine a man telling you to put on a dress and then with the largest pair of scissors I've ever seen - cut the excess material while you are standing IN the dress. Talk about scary! This gives the term 'cut to fit' an entirely different meaning. I love that dress!! Maybe one day I'll...nah...

Anyway this show they have an amazing Australian chef Pete Evans ("My Table" is a wonderful book which we got as a take-home gift) and people making children's toys out of cardboard - I kid you not (no pun intended). Not that I'll ever have a need for a cardboard oven, felt cherry pie or cardboard picnic bench, it was cute. The View, Rachel Ray, Mike and Julie and Late Night are some of the additional shows I'm looking to attend. I'd really LOVE Ellen, but I can't afford the California trip and I'm sure she's booked for the season already. Maybe next year.

STILL Reconnecting with people from my past:
Recently I got a Facebook invitation to connect with someone I'll call 'Richard S.' So I look at this picture of a guy - have no clue who he is. I looked to see who we had 'in common'. There was one girl I'll call 'Robin P'. So being the polite person my mom taught me to be I said "I'll be happy to add you as a friend, if you just tell me who you are and how we know each other beyond having 'Robin' in common. I'm looking and looking at this picture, saying the name and nope, nothing comes to mind. I get a reply a day later that says "We went to grammar school together at St. Angela Hall in Brooklyn and you were the first girl I ever had a crush on. I was best friends with 'Saul B', and at that moment all the bells whistles began to B-O-N-G. Of course I remembered him at that point. So I'm thinking...I never knew he had a crush on me and it's taken him more than 30 years to tell me this? Needless to say we will be getting together in the future to catch up with a few other classmates we've connected with. Isn't that crazy?!?

Reading the New Testament:
OK so I'll admit this is going to be a slow go. I have tons of questions, but thanks to the retreat I attended a few weeks ago, I have a pocket-sized version and am taking it with me everywhere. I'm trying to read it like a novel - sadly, it's not quite that easy. I will make sure it's done and will keep you posted.

Write an article and have it published:
I have been asked to write and submit an article which will be included in an anthology. Isn't that great!! I know - why not lead with this as an update - I'm still a bit shy about it. I wrote 3 pieces and 2 of them are being seriously considered. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. Once this is finalized (I should know in about 3 weeks), I'll post the pieces as well as the final name of the book. YEA, finally a published author.

Write 44 people and see if they reply:
Ok, so I've finally gotten serious about this one. I have about 28 so far on my list (sorry Oprah nor Martha didn't make it) and it continues to grow. I think this is a really interesting experiment to see who will take the time to reply. You know I'll keep you posted on the final list of people and their replies.

Oh well...that's just about all I have today. It's about 3:53am now and I've been up for about 2 hrs. I think I'm going to get back into bed and see if sleep comes my way.

How about those New Year's Resolutions???

Have you taken a look around and realized that those ‘golden resolutions’ are in the golden garbage can?? I think that’s why I decided to lay off the pressure on myself this year. I’ve put myself under enough pressure just to get my life in general back to normal…I’m not trying to make myself nuts.

I did want to take this month to offer a months worth of things I’ve been seeing in magazines and hearing on the news as possible things to help you get through the rest of the shortest month in the year. Hey no pressure – just some things to think about.

1 – Since there are only three weekends in February, your recession budget for fun and frolic will go a little further.
2- Valentines Day is past so you have yet another 365 days to worry about buying that box of chocolate
3 – This is President’s Day Weekend – so you have a three-day weekend and a short week – what a double bonus.
4 – If you live where there is tons of snow, you can burn up to 400 calories per hour (good to know if you ate the entire box of chocolate)
5 – If you live in NY like I do, during this month because it is still so cold, you don’t have to battle the crazy cyclists and the cabs at the same time and the line at TXTS (the outdoor discount Broadway ticket center) is much shorter.
6 - The trees are still bare so all of those really beautiful estates in Long Island, you know the ones with the long driveways, you can see from the road without going up the driveway (not that you could get in anyway)
7- Turtlenecks hide many a mistake.
8- If you didn’t get expensive chocolate for yourself, you can buy it yourself and say it’s from someone else. (oh come on…you never sent your self flowers and they played coy about who sent them??).
9 – We are getting closer to spring each and every day. That’s something to smile about.
10 – There are at least 300-plus days until you have to battle those holiday shops again (or at least 200 until you start seeing cards and decorations in the shops).
11 – If you live in a beautiful tree-lined block where there are apartments that connect (some places call them brownstones like in Brooklyn) without the air conditioning units hanging in the windows you can see just how beautiful the buildings actually are.
12 – There are still at least 4 months until you have to get into that bikini, but sales for them are right now, so shop early.
14 – No guest visiting you in their right mind wants to go on one of those open-air tour buses now – still too cold.
15 – You can actually leave your groceries in your car for an hour if you need to stop into another shop without fear that they will spoil too quickly. I don’t recommend it, but hey your trunk can act as a mini-fridge.
16 – You don’t have to rake, mow, prune, or weed for a few more weeks.
17 – We have just 3 whole months until Memorial Day and the beginning of summer. Oh, that may put a bit of panic with numbers 4 and 7.
18 - It’s easier to be a Good Samaritan; if you’re in a car, let people walking cross the street before you make the turn. Knowing you helped their frostbitten bodies get to their destination faster should provide you with a warm fuzzy.
19 – If you love Peeps (a marshmallow candy)– get Peeps valentines and hold them until Easter to greet your Peeps bunnies.
20 – If you are a college basketball fan…It’s almost MARCH MADDNESS.
21 – There are shorter lines at just about - well everywhere.
22 – The streets aren’t nearly as crowded so it’s easier to get by and if you choose to, it’s ok to do a Sunday stroll even if it’s Tuesday.
23 – There are still 6 months until we have to worry who will take Bret Farve’s place for the Jets.
24 – When all else fails – there’s always Facebook.
25 – Because of the recession this year’s vineyards should have some of their best bottles at reduced prices.
26 – It’s still cold enough for fireplaces, blankets and good books with out feeling like you HAVE TO be outside.
27 – President Obama plans to sign $787 billion stimulus plan which will hopefully begin to turn the economy around.
28 – It’s the last day of the coldest month of the year – that’s reason enough right.

…29 – It’s only 1,126 more days until my Birthday (Feb 29th – yes it’s a real day/reason to celebrate the BEST DAY of the month). I’ll be 12. ☺

This Valentines Day...let's give the guys a break

Love sculpture - New York, NY

I feel like the last several posts have been...shall I say, a bit 'political'. In an effort to change focus, let me say that I am a total, complete and true die-hard romantic. I make no apologies to anyone who says I'm crazy and it doesn't exist. I've been in that kind of dreamy love before so I know it does.

I believe in first-true love. I believe in real tight hugs, kisses and stolen glances from across the room. I believe in walking down the street, holding the hand of your partner and not having your hands stuffed in your pockets. I believe in couples walking together and not one ahead of the other. I believe that when you are so deeply and completely in love, there isn't another feeling like it in the world. I also believe that these types of expressions of love and affection shouldn't just be on Christmas or the second most expensive day of the year - Valentines Day. It should be year-round and maybe for a lucky few it is.

I'm not saying that February 14th shouldn't be celebrated. Hey, I think Leap-Year (Feb 29th) should be declared a national holiday (then again it's my birthday, so I'm a bit bias...). I love any reason to party, get/give a gift and just have a good time. Shoes on sale - order a good steak; friend lost some weight - hey you must go dancing; told a good joke...I'm all for a pitcher of Sangria. I love to be with friends and lovers and party until dawn. That's why I feel so bad for guys this week, but I do wonder two things:

1 - Why it is expected that guys have to spend money (in some cases money they don't have) on flowers (that are actually cheaper if you buy them the day before) and chocolate just on this day. I also know some guys that take this opportunity to buy the lingerie that they 'think' their significant other wants. It makes me wonder if it's more like what they want. I've heard a guy say "she gets what she wants and so do I" - either way just get the right size (for your own sake!!)

2 - Why women put so much pressure on their significant other to 'come through or don't come home'. I would rather have flowers 'just because' when it's more thoughtful vs. getting them because the person in my life feels he 'has to'. Talk about a lot of pressure. It's just not fair.

Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to receive flowers and while I'm not a chocolate kind of girl, a surprise slice of my favorite Lemon Cake would be nice. Then again...so would a walk in the park or him sitting through a 'chick-flick' once in a while. I also know that getting a surprise just because for me, would mean more.

This is probably the only time I feel sorry for guys - it's a lot of pressure to come through. I want to propose something to all my girls. Let's either give them a break and/or give them valentines gifts as well. I mean fair is fair right?

Maybe this is the is the year that we get back to basics. Maybe this is the year we celebrate just having someone special in our lives vs. the amount of money that can be spent for this one 'day to celebrate love'. I want love, the spirit of love, the passion of love, the mystery of love, and the love of love to be 365 days a year. Told you I'm a romantic. Let me however say if you want to pick a real day to celebrate - make it the day of your lovers birth after all, if they weren't born, you wouldn't be together right??

What I'm hoping is that love will be more than a day, like Christmas is more than just about a gift. I'm hoping that love, mutual respect and true partnership will be the calling card for 2009. I still hope that your heart is open and loves walks in.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Love sculpture - Brooklyn, NYC

Is being an African American man in politics the new “IT factor”, or is electing Michael Steele to the GOP a way to “ block, saying ‘NOT’” safely.

Ok, so if this offends anyone I'm sorry in advance. If you have a different opinion and/or thoughts about this, please let me know. I'm willing to listen and learn.

I must admit that there are times I walk past CNN on TV, catch a glimpse of President Obama and pause. It takes me a second to remember yes, we have an African-American man who is President of the United States. I can’t be the only one, who has experienced this. I’m sure as we hear more of the ‘new voice’ in the administration, the more ‘common’ shall we say it will become.

President Obama has begun forward movement of his agenda and I believe that the stimulus package was a great beginning. Even though the Dow did dip to just above 8,000 the day after this passed, I’m hopeful that this will help stimulate the economy. Yes there have been some other early challenges, but he doesn’t seem to be the kind of man who will be easily daunted.

There is a part of me that has become cynical. At one time I believed that our government was made up of “we’re-thinking-of-what’s-

best-for-the-people-who-put-us-in office” kind of people. Then, this year’s election. I questioned why Sen. McCain who had months to announce a running mate, waited until AFTER then Sen. Obama picked his. More so, I wondered why Palin?

I remember driving to visit my family when a friend emailed me “McCain picks Palin for VP”. I responded like so many others “Who?” While I don’t think she was the best woman/person that the GOP had to offer, I do understand the strategy behind it and it was brilliant. ‘Let’s get the 18 million people who voted for Hillary on our side.’ You see how well it worked for them right? This is what makes me wonder if the GOP has done it again. Do they think that by picking an African American to head a party, which is clearly in trouble, will create new interest? What the GOP has done again, is leaping without sincere thought or a clear direction. Let me just be blunt…African American people are not going to become Republicans or follow this new drummer just because he is African American.

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Michael Steele, the first African-American chairman of the Republican National Committee makes me think that now, being an African American male is H-O-T! Of course after 6 rounds of voting, this ‘win’ didn’t come easily. He finally beat out Katon Dawson, the chairman of the South Carolina party, who had been criticized for belonging to a whites-only country club, a membership he resigned before this election began. Stupid me, I didn’t think whites-only country clubs still existed.

Michael Steele, at the Republican National Convention coined the "Drill Baby Drill" chant that was taken up by McCain and Palin to push for more offshore drilling. Most recently, he is also the man who asked GOP lawmakers to close ranks and cast 177 “no” votes when the stimulus bill was before the House. The bill however passed.

Mr. Steels suggests that he wants to lay a new foundation; develop new relationships; make progress with small donors (the common man) as well as the ‘fat’ cats; he seeks to increase the number of minorities to the Republican party who may have shun it in the past and reclaim the Northeast. God Help us…sorry, that was my out-side voice. So far the smartest and most honest thing I’ve heard him say is he realizes that this won’t turnaround overnight.

It seems to me – the cynic – that the GOP is trying HARD to do a few things and yet maybe trying too hard.
First, they are trying to separate themselves from the Bush administration quickly and by all means necessary.

Secondly, the GOP wants people to know they are inclusive and will welcome everyone. With Steele in a position of power, it sends a message that this party has been ‘misidentified as one that doesn’t care, insensitive and unconcerned about minorities or doesn’t want to knock down color barriers – these labels couldn’t be further from the truth. After all they did appoint him an African-American.

Third, maybe they are looking past all the Sarah Palin hype/fallout and looking for a potential African-American candidate of their own in 2012…hmmm. After all, President Obama already did the hard part.

Finally, selecting an African-American chairman, no matter what you think of it, is redefining the party’s image. Only time will tell what this new image is. For now, being African-American it HOT!!

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Still Michael Steele frightens me. Steele has already said that he “would move aggressively to take on the Democrats.” Steele suggested that he was looking forward to ‘engaging Mr. Obama in the months ahead; that it would be ‘an honor to spar with him’. (Technically, isn’t he supposed to address him as President Obama?) Gee, that doesn’t sound like someone who is willing to work across the isle, show respect, or willing to listen to different views. It sounds like the same ‘ol my way or the highway’ Republican Party to me.

To his defense, I will say that my research as it were, shows that Mr. Steele did verbally attack former President Bush on the handling of the war and said his response to Katrina was a “monumental failure.” He was at the losing end of that fallout. How the tides and attitudes are changing for the party.

Can we just say it already; many feel Mr. Steele is a ‘token’. He will never be Colin Powell and even Colin Powell; a well-respected, African-American FORMER Republican changed, political parties when he had enough. Even if you don’t agree with Steele, is it fair to say that he is a token because he is an African-American Republican. Likewise is it fair to say that only Obama can be the messenger of change – the visionary? I don’t think so. See I am trying to be fair.

Although there are many in the Republican Party in general, Mr. Steele will still find his self-surrounded by racist, radicals, elitist, and extremist. These type of people don’t think that African-American, or any other minority have a place in the White House and I’m sure a dew are having a tough time dealing with the his appointment. Let us remember Rush Limbaugh’s comments last week about President Obama. What does Mr. Steele have to say about this, and/or does he agree with him?

How will he deal with his staunch, right wing GOP supporters like O'Reilly, Limbaugh and Hannity? When they open their mouths to bad-mouth minorities and homosexuals, what will Mr. Steele say or do then? Will he tow the party line, or show a ‘kinder and gentler GOP’? Would you believe there are some who still say that the only reason – and this makes me laugh – Obama won is because the minority population came out in droves. While this may have been the biggest voter turnout since – well forever, folks didn’t elect President Obama because of what he looks like, I know I didn’t. I didn’t care that he was bi-racial, or went to Harvard, or has a seemingly lovely family. I voted for him because he is truly unlike anyone else who was running this year. He offered the country a new vision, a positive change and the hope for a brighter future.

What it seems to me, and call me crazy, the GOP needs to counter (the Obama factor) by putting Mr. Steele in a position to ‘take on the president’ so that those that might not agree, don’t seem racist. Mr. Steele, like Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, is a ‘pull yourself up by your boots strap kind of guy’. Hey, I also believe you have to work hard and those that are constantly looking for a hand out, need to get a grip. However, in this economy what if you don’t have boots, or shoes or socks to pull up? Then what?? If you have 2 men of the same ‘group’ going at each other, doesn’t’ that cancel out any potential racial factor? Hey, I'm just asking so don’t kill me!

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There have been so many changes in the last month I can barely keep up. What I hope for (among many things) is that this country can get back on the right track. That means reminding our political officials to work together for the good of the people that elected them in the first place. Yes, that means the little people and even those among us that have a few billion to rub together. We need to focus on the economy, get the jobs that are so desperately needed and don't forget the environment.

I want to be of the generation that rejoices in the fact that this 2009 administration, Senate and House are working to abolish racism by putting in key positions people of all backgrounds, all ethnicities, all sexual orientations. That they are looking for success, not setting you up for failure. If that means being Black is the new ‘Black’, then rock on!

In the end whether Mr. Steele or President Obama is the ‘right person’ only time will dictate. In the meantime another African American is creating hope, cracking a ceiling, breaking down the door and walking into a new challenge coming this far by faith. For these two African-American men, it must be good to be them at this moment in history.