This Valentines Day...let's give the guys a break

Love sculpture - New York, NY

I feel like the last several posts have been...shall I say, a bit 'political'. In an effort to change focus, let me say that I am a total, complete and true die-hard romantic. I make no apologies to anyone who says I'm crazy and it doesn't exist. I've been in that kind of dreamy love before so I know it does.

I believe in first-true love. I believe in real tight hugs, kisses and stolen glances from across the room. I believe in walking down the street, holding the hand of your partner and not having your hands stuffed in your pockets. I believe in couples walking together and not one ahead of the other. I believe that when you are so deeply and completely in love, there isn't another feeling like it in the world. I also believe that these types of expressions of love and affection shouldn't just be on Christmas or the second most expensive day of the year - Valentines Day. It should be year-round and maybe for a lucky few it is.

I'm not saying that February 14th shouldn't be celebrated. Hey, I think Leap-Year (Feb 29th) should be declared a national holiday (then again it's my birthday, so I'm a bit bias...). I love any reason to party, get/give a gift and just have a good time. Shoes on sale - order a good steak; friend lost some weight - hey you must go dancing; told a good joke...I'm all for a pitcher of Sangria. I love to be with friends and lovers and party until dawn. That's why I feel so bad for guys this week, but I do wonder two things:

1 - Why it is expected that guys have to spend money (in some cases money they don't have) on flowers (that are actually cheaper if you buy them the day before) and chocolate just on this day. I also know some guys that take this opportunity to buy the lingerie that they 'think' their significant other wants. It makes me wonder if it's more like what they want. I've heard a guy say "she gets what she wants and so do I" - either way just get the right size (for your own sake!!)

2 - Why women put so much pressure on their significant other to 'come through or don't come home'. I would rather have flowers 'just because' when it's more thoughtful vs. getting them because the person in my life feels he 'has to'. Talk about a lot of pressure. It's just not fair.

Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to receive flowers and while I'm not a chocolate kind of girl, a surprise slice of my favorite Lemon Cake would be nice. Then again...so would a walk in the park or him sitting through a 'chick-flick' once in a while. I also know that getting a surprise just because for me, would mean more.

This is probably the only time I feel sorry for guys - it's a lot of pressure to come through. I want to propose something to all my girls. Let's either give them a break and/or give them valentines gifts as well. I mean fair is fair right?

Maybe this is the is the year that we get back to basics. Maybe this is the year we celebrate just having someone special in our lives vs. the amount of money that can be spent for this one 'day to celebrate love'. I want love, the spirit of love, the passion of love, the mystery of love, and the love of love to be 365 days a year. Told you I'm a romantic. Let me however say if you want to pick a real day to celebrate - make it the day of your lovers birth after all, if they weren't born, you wouldn't be together right??

What I'm hoping is that love will be more than a day, like Christmas is more than just about a gift. I'm hoping that love, mutual respect and true partnership will be the calling card for 2009. I still hope that your heart is open and loves walks in.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Love sculpture - Brooklyn, NYC