Respect is learned...so can someone teach the next generation?

For some reason I feel it necessary to begin with the following disclosure: “While I don’t have children of my own, I am an aunt, auntie, tiá, and ‘other-mother’ to the children of family and friends. These opinions are based on my love, passion, and desire to nurture the “little people” in my life and to help them become the best people possible.”

There!

What the hay is happening to our young people? They won’t pull up their pants (boys of ALL race, some girls are doing it – yes, folks, I’ve seen it with my own eyes), they continue to be loud and un-ruley and they are seeing the bad behavior of their parents and thinking it’s ok. ARGH!!

Here is a real story – I was on the train in NY recently when a group of school children entered. They couldn’t have been more than 6^th or 7^th grade. When a teacher reprimanded a young woman telling her to hold on and stop stepping on people as the train jerked her around, her fellow male classmate told the teacher “shut the ‘F’ up”. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I looked back and forth between the teacher and student, waiting for her reply…willing her to be strong….hoping that she would be like Sr. Mary Margaret and give him what for. Instead she just looked away – dejected and defeated.

“Have you lost your right mind?” I asked this kid – not to be confused with the mind he ‘left’ at home or where ever he was and thought he could talk to an adult any way he wanted. At this point he is trying to stare me down…obviously he didn’t get the text message that I have the original eye-brow arched stare and don’t easily scare. “What would your mother say to hear you speaking to an adult like that? This is a full-grown woman and not one of your little playmates. She was just looking out for your friend and deserves your respect. You should apologize”. The train went quiet, my heart was pounding and to my surprise – he did it. He said “sorry’, just above a whisper, but he did it. The teacher looked at me and mouthed “thanks”; I winked my acknowledgement and went back to reading my book. The next stop was mine, I got off and don’t know what happened after that. Hopefully he didn’t loose his mind again. I can dream right?

What this generation responds to, are the adult antics that they see. If a parent has a few drinks and drives with no consequences, it must be ok because you got where you needed to go safely. If uncle has a gun…well, it must be ok right because no one got shot. To create a flying saucer, have it released and then have an entire country on the edge of their seat, hoping that the ‘little boy inside’ is ok, only to find out that it’s a hoax…well, what harm did it really do right?

Where is the responsibility? Where are the responsible adults who are teaching them right from wrong? Where are the adults that are willing to say to a kid ‘straighten up and behave’? Where are the parents willing to be responsible for raising children that abide by the laws, treats others as they want to be treated and dare I say, actually do something instead of just drinkin’, druggin’ and wearing those ooh-so-low pants?

They do exist. I see my nephew a smart, well-behaved kid who loves sports, reading, his parents, grandparents and me. I see my friends’ daughters, who actually write me emails and ask my opinion. They often bounce ideas off me, and while they do think of me as a ‘auntie-friend’ and we have fun together, they are respectful. I have two friends that have just birthed the next generation of men (well not the entire generation, each had 1 son). I’m sure that they will teach them to respect adults, cherish women, right from wrong, and knowing them…they will be the kind of men very lucky women will have in 2040.

Why is a young person who is doing what is right such a surprise…shouldn’t it be the norm? I’m tired of stories about suburban teens getting hooked on drugs, girls being raped (or not –another blog ARGH!!) or college pro players being shot ON CAMPUS at a campus sponsored event. It may be simplistic, but …can’t we all just get along?

Cheddar and Hard Cider Fondue

Well, I wanted to share something that is yummy and pretty easy to make. I want to thank the Food Network for the recipie. OH...if any of you are making it...invite me for dinner. I'll bring wine and dippers.

• 1 (12-ounce) bottle hard cider
• 3/4 cup chicken broth, homemade or low-sodium canned
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• 1 clove garlic, finely chopped
• 1/2 pound Gruyere, grated
• 1/2 pound sharp Vermont or New York yellow cheddar
• 3 tablespoons corn starch
• 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• Salt
• 1 tablespoon Bourbon, whiskey or apple jack, optional

Fondue Dippers:

• Cooked chicken and apple sausages, chorizo, or mini hot dogs; sliced baguette or black bread, radishes, roasted shallots, roasted mushrooms or small fingerlings or baby potatoes, pears, apples or pretzels.

Directions

Heat cider, broth, Worcestershire, and garlic in a medium pot over medium heat and simmer for 5 minutes.

Toss the cheeses together in a medium bowl. Sift the corn starch over the cheese, and toss to coat lightly.

Using a wooden spoon, sprinkle some cheese mixture into the warm liquid and continue to stir in small amounts of cheese until it is all incorporated and the fondue is smooth and melted, about 15 minutes. Stir in cayenne, salt and Bourbon, if using.

Transfer to a fondue pot or double boiler and serve with desired dippers.

I've been MIA

I know....I haven't forgotten you, but life has been crazy lately. This will be quick, but there is more coming.

So THANK YOU to all of you who voted for me. I did win - YEA!! I know it's only because of all of you who took the time to place a vote for me. Hmmm, that makes me kind of sad that I now feel like I used you. I don't want you to feel that way - I don't mean to put you - my first blog on the back burner. I also feel like I spend a lot of time apologizing to people for...EVERYTHING...so let's just say that I will try to be better.

{{{{{{{I'm giving up saying I'm sorry in 2010}}}}}}}}}

It's a beautiful day here in NY...well, not really. :-) It's kind of overcast and did rain a bit this morning...but the fall air is wonderful as it comes through my bedroom window. I know that there will be far less days of open-windows (of this type - I'm hoping for the open window/closed door other kind...) as winter days are quickly approaching. The air helps me think... It's invigorating... It's free.

Quick updates for those who aren't following my other life...
It's been nuts with trying to finish the book by the end of this year. I'm hopeful that it will happen. My dear editor (Judith) is the best big-sister I could have ever asked for. She understands why it's taking me a bit longer that I thought it would and she only gently nudges. I wish there were more people like her alive. The world would be a better place.

Writing the bridal column has kept me super busy. I've decided to remove some pressure and only write 3-4 instead of 6 days a week. Look, I don't get paid much for it, and all the work I put into it - doesn't equal. What...think I'm kidding....Here are the numbers. I've been writing my a$$ off since March 1. That's interviewing people, taking pictures, traveling to some of these places, writing and trade shows (ok so the shows are fun, but the attitude of some - well that's another post!) and as of today, after over 200 posts I've made $195.45. Yup...that's it! I think the highlight so far is that .... well, I've met some really 'important people' in the industry and they were lovely. One even said "I've read your stuff, it's pretty good". I wanted to scream - HIRE ME!!!

There is just so much going on in the world that there simply aren't enough hours in the day for me to write. I wish I could find a program that works for Mac that allows you to talk into a mic and and it would just type for you. IF anyone know of one, please let me know. It would make my life soooo much easier.

So until a bit later, this is all... Thank you to the at least 4 people I know of who read this...:-)

Can you please vote for a great site?!

VOTE FOR ME TODAY!!

Isn't this GREAT!! I've been nominated and I need your VOTES. Can you vote TODAY? They close entries after Sept 21, so PLZ!!! I'll continue to bring you the latest news, trends, and advice from the wedding industry - ok, and some juicy gossip too.

http://www.bridalease101.blogspot.com/
Bet ya didn't know I had another one did ya?

I would really appreciate it if you did vote - only once as more than, will be disqualified. I'll let you know if I win - and THANKS!!

YEA!!! Go BridalEase


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A day to morn, a day to rejoice - Sept 11

Ah....I remember where I was Sept, 11 2001. I arrived early was sitting at my desk at Universal music. My BFF and i had a running joke that she could see me from her penthouse apt (which was just across the plaza from my office) so I was looking up to her window and waving good morning. I didn't really think she could see me, but it was something I did often.

About 8:55 my phone rang, it was my mom to say "hey, a plane crashed into the World Trade Center." I looked out my window and sure enough there was smoke coming from one of the towers. By this time my boss had arrived at work and we were looking at it together as he turned on the TV. Being in music industry there were things we were never without...stereo equipment, speakers (loudly) and TV - usually to MTV, but today we watched CNN.

Just as I settled into his chair to watch coverage, we heard the reporter say "there's another plane and it's turning into the tower". I'll never forget this...As I stood up and looked out the window, I could see the plane just at it struck. Holy Sh*t was the first time I'd ever heard my boss swear. Panic ensued. I tried to call my mom - line busy; I tried to call my BFF as her job was on the other side of Manhattan to see if she knew - line busy. People were now arriving at the office and no one knew what to do, say or what was happening.

I have memories of getting on the elevator, running across the courtyard to my BFF's house - the doorman knew me and was asking me what happened. I told him what little I knew, and then called up to her apt. Her boyfriend said that he had just spoken with her and she was on her way back to the apt. Relieved that she would be on her way I raced back to the office, and discussed the plan of getting everyone in our dept out and home. Of course for the people that lived in NJ there was no transportation in - or - out. NYC was in lock-down.

Once we made arrangements for hotels etc, I went back to my BFF's house and the doorman said "you're family is upstairs waiting for you". I knew what he meant and I think it was at that point she and her now husband did become my family. We cleaned out the fridge of food, and then went to the supermarket to buy more. Friends came over and we all were glued to the TV, just watching the horror over and over and over again. I stayed with them in their apt I think for 2 nights because I was just so scared to take the train home. None of us understood, or knew what was happening yet.

As I sat with BFF we had a telescope and let me just say some of the things I saw falling weren't scraps of paper. We watched, ate, drank copious amounts of ..., well everything and when the first tower fell...I watched stunned. When the second tower fell...I just cried.

Days later the NYTimes posted pictures of those "lost". Day after day I found pictures of friends, former boyfriends, a sales person at the shoe shop I knew.

Day after day the city remained quiet except for the firetrucks and police down at "ground zero". I did manage to grab my press pass and go down there to take pictures. What I remember most, the smell and the dust.

Fast forward, today still leaves me with mixed feelings. You can't change the fact that there no longer is Twin-Towers. If the bureaucrats would get off their butts and play nice, we could have rebuilt something already!! The lives of those killed and their family/friends will never be the same. Even if time heals, this is a day when the nation will constantly remind you. You never forget.

I know that a dear friend whose twin brother was a fireman has still to recover from losing his twin, and has since left his post as a fireman. He just couldn't take the constant reminder.

So what to do...morn and then live. Rejoice in their life. Remember the good times. Live the life they would have wanted for you to live. Pray for our solders who are fighting ... still.

Pray that it never happens again.