Can we seperate Church & State or are these truly the ties that bind?

A few weeks ago, Pope Benedict XVI was in town, and of course the city was all a buzz. Frankly, I am still I morning over Pope John Paul II. He was and still is my Pope. He is the one that has has a great impact in my life. I remember being in grammar school when JP came to N.Y. WOW!!! This was like getting a snow day off from school (back then we had ‘real snow’, not the few flakes we have today). All the nuns were all a twitter (I equate it to going to the prom - that kind of excitement), as the Pope announced he was having a youth rally at Madison Square Garden. I think having it there – filled to capacity with young people – screaming his name, gave him ‘ROCK STAR’ appeal. He was just cool. I will always remember that day, and remember him.

I was like so many deeply sadden as I watched his health fail him. This once exuberant man was now slouching over, and his speech was slurring. I get the feeling that even though the body was failing, there was the strength and passion of a young man who had given his life to God so many years ago. I loved him (as much as one could love the Pope) and what he stood for. I admired his ability to meet with people of every race, every station in life because he was passionate about people. He wanted to understand your views and even if he disagreed, he showed respect at all times. His actions spoke loudly.

When he died, I watched his funeral and yes smiled at his red shoes. Prada slip-on I believe. For a modest man, those ruby red slippers like Dorothy reminded me that there was ‘no place like home’ and that his home was in heaven.

Pope Benedict now wears the papal red shoes, but has made it clear that he “was not JPII, but his own man”.
When the Pope held church services at St. Patrick's Cathedral, the twice-divorced Giuliani, accompanied by his third wife, Judith, received Communion from a priest standing near the Pope. Giuliani should not have received Holy Communion because according to catholic law, the former presidential candidate and mayor supports abortion rights and remarried without getting an annulment from the church.

Cardinal Edward Egan said he had "an understanding" with the failed Republican presidential hopeful "that he was not to receive the Eucharist because of his well-known support of abortion." The Cardinal went further and said "I deeply regret that Mr. Giuliani received the Eucharist during the papal visit here in New York, and I will be seeking a meeting with him to insist that he abide by our understanding." What understanding??

I know this may not seem like a big thing, but it’s the little things, that cause people to change churches or change political parties. If this is the case of “they are just human and may not speak for the whole” then dare I say why can’t we separate the speeches of Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. and presidential candidate Barack Obama. (This is not an endorsement of Barack Obama or Rev. Wright).

I don't have the answer, and I'm grateful I'm not being asked to provide one.

Sean Bell+50 Bullets+The Law=Aquital & Question of Fairness

Sean Bell was an engaged 23 years old father of two, participating in a male pre-wedding ritual. He was out with the guys’ the eve of his wedding at his bachelor party. What he and two of his friends Trent Benefield, and Joseph Guzman didn't know, is that the place they choose to celebrate his last night as a 'free and single man', would be his last.

Three unarmed men were under a hail of 50 bullets and their only crime that night was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sean Bell would be killed that night. For the last 8 weeks NYC has been holding their collective breath, waiting for the verdict. On Friday April 25th, at the conclusion, some of the city are once again divided. No matter whose side you are on, at this point, no one is truly the winner.

While the topic of race wasn’t the focal point, it did rear it’s ugly head and divide New York City yet again. I believe this time the focus was more on the protection of the ‘boys in blue’ vs the past deeds of the targeted victims and hey, let’s not forget…there were 50 bullets. Excessive…ya think??

The police officers at the center of the shooting were acquitted but they are not off the hook yet. There will be a civil suit filed by Nicole (Sean Bell’s finance) and his parents. Will they win I’m not sure. Given the New Yorks history of horrific past misdeeds, they may.

Beginning in 1994 with Anthony Baez, 1999 Amadou Diallo, and in 2004 Timothy Stansbury, just these three cases, NYC has paid over 8 million to the families of these three men to settle wrongful death law suits. Nine million dollars from the city and police union, for the sexual brutalization of Abner Louima.

Why are these cases so important? They became high profile because of the very natures of these deaths and attacks. These were all unarmed men, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, they were minorities, and the police officers were white. One argument I heard was this case is different because the police officers charged were themselves minorities ( Det Cooper – African-American; Det. Isnora – Hispanic; Det. Oliver – while white, is Lebanese by nationality). I still say “So What??” Sean is still dead, and his children will still grow up without a father.

The 'Not Guilty' verdict by the honorable Supreme Court Justice Arthur Cooperman is being questioned. Not because of his interpretation of the law (which most agree with) but with the way he cited 'inconsistent statements, courtroom demeanor and the police rap sheets and Benefields testimony in particular "eviscerated the credibility of those prosecution witnesses". In other words he just didn't believe the testimony of Bells' friends.

Witnesses in the court suggest, even cops who took the stand, contradicted each other as to whether Isnora identified himself as cop. However these inconsistencies were never questioned – or at least, not mentioned as factors in the final judgment.

Let me set the scene (no I was not there, but this is from various articles printed). There was an argument of some sort at the bar. There is a possibility that some unknown man said that he was getting a gun. The groom and his friends left the bar. Ask yourself for a moment: If you had just left an argument with some stranger and you suddenly see a man rushing at you with a gun, and then some van drive up and block your exit, what would you do?

Would you wait around and ask some polite questions? Or would you try to speed away from the scene as fast as possible - even if it meant your car hitting the stranger with gun? I know what I would do - and I'm not trained to react instantly in life and death situations.

Let me take a moment and say that this judge has a record for being fair, and has jailed police and criminals alike. I don't believe he was out to get these guys. While I do have problems bringing up past criminal history (especially of those not on trial), he was justified in his interpretation of the law. My question to him is how do you justify 50 bullets at 3 unarmed men? How can you not hold them accountable for a death?

There were additional things that bothered me about this trial. Where is the remorse? The three police officers spoke about the verdict in the moments after they were acquitted. ONLY Det. Cooper seems to have a conscious about the 4 bullets he used. ONLY he, seemed to understand his actions and how they have impacted all of the parties involved. ONLY Det. Cooper, must have been raised ‘correctly’ because he is the ONLY ONE to offer some sort of apology to the Bell Family. Det, Oliver who could have faced 25 years in prison if convicted on all counts of manslaughter, felony assault and reckless endangerment went to dinner with family and friends after the verdict, spending $4,200 on dinner including $180 on a pasta with truffles dish and $575 on bottles of wine. He is the officer that has been viewed as 'cocky and has no remorse. Was this dinner yet another slap in the face of the family? I’m not judging (well, maybe a little)…

Who knows, maybe John Conyers, the House Judiciary Chairman’s visit will shed some light or at least offer a different view and recommendation so this doesn’t happen in the future. Let me go on record for saying I deeply appreciate what the police and firemen do for our city daily. During 9/11 they were on the top of their game proving they are here to serve and protect. I know I couldn’t do what they do, so my hat is tipped to you. You risk your lives to make split-second decisions. However in my humble opinion I do think that in this case it wouldn’t have ‘killed (no pun intended) Det. Oliver, and Det. Isnora who fired 11 times, to express their sorrow for the lost life of another human being – guilty or not.

The end of the story isn’t if the Bell family sues the city for $50 million dollars. The story doesn’t begin or end with Rev Al Sharpton and his ‘request’ to shut down the city. The end really isn’t about anyone saying they are sorry. The end of the story is Nicole Paultre Bell and their two girls Jada, 5, and Jordyn, 22 months, no husband or father. The end of the story is Sean Bell, 23 years old is dead and not coming back.

In my view, that’s the saddest part. When are we going to start valuing human life?

Celebrity Wedding of B&J…no not Ben and Jerry, Beyonce and Jay-Z

Oh, I’m going to admit something pretty embarrassing. Last week I was GLUED to TMZ’s live feed of the comings/goings of the “wedding of R&B and Hip-Hop Royalty – Beyoncé Knowles and Jay-Z”. I’m embarrassed to admit that I was a little sad that it wasn’t me getting married…let me for the record state, I’ve only met Beyoncé once when I worked at Sony Music (she was lovely), and Jay-Z and I know each other in passing because I have been to his Club 40/40. It’s not like he was ever going to ask me, he doesn’t even know me so I have no illusions about it, but it’s still embarrassing to admit.

For those of you who may have been living on another planet two weeks ago, they applied for a marriage license. That started the rumor mills working overtime with speculation of Where, When and Will it be bigger than XYZ’s wedding? Then there was the “if they are getting married in a hurry, it must be because Beyoncé might be pregnant.

I ask you…Why can’t they, after 6+years of dating just get married when ever they want. I mean, it’s not like they need a long engagement in order to sign up at Tiffany’s for a wedding registry. I absolutely know the headaches of planning weddings. The drama, what china to pick out, the 'future husband’ not wanting to have anything to do with it, the yelling, screaming, the tears. This was any Saturday, watching people when I was a part-time bridal consultant at Bloomingdales. On many occasion I told a couple to get “paper and plastic, it was easier”. I’ve seen people almost come to blows over the crystal pattern. Let me tell you a small secret. These girls register for the most expensive things. You the guest, want to make them happy and you purchase it. They get the gift, get married, and then RETURN EVERYTHING so they can buy clothes or get the cash. Yes, you heard it here first. So if you’ve spent big bucks on the Waterford Crystal, make sure you visit them and ask to see it. Just kidding!

So back to the B&J thing….
The paparazzi was intense, they bum-rushed each and every car that even ‘looked’ like there was ‘someone famous’ in it. It was crazy, and here I am…watching it unfold. Then, there was a truck, a moving van of sorts that no one paid attention to…and there are unconfirmed reports that Beyoncé was in that truck which is the way she got into the building un-noticed. SMART GIRL, and that truck must have been amazing on the inside (if this rumor is true). Finally while the press is scoping for a ring on both of them, and even taking a picture of Beyoncé’s fingerless gloved hand. Speculating if she has a ring and then in the next breath…she has a 16 carat ring. Believe me when I say, there is No Way to hide a 16 carat ring under a glove. I say give it up already and leave them alone.

So why are people mad at them? They feel like they are missing something because these two people didn’t confirm or deny their relationship? Are they truly angry because they weren’t invited to the wedding? Beyoncé’s dad is being criticized for supposedly 'shopping the wedding photo's out for the highest bidder'. Why are you mad at that? They do it for celebrity babies...oh, that outside voice of mine. Look no matter how many albums of theirs you have purchased, and even if you are the president of their fan club, you don’t know them!!

Let’s consider what happens to other celebrities who put every detail of their lives in the press, only to complain that they have no privacy. I say its because they don’t really want any privacy at all. There are too many to list, but you know who you are.

This couple has chosen, since day one to be private about their relationship. We don’t need to have every detail of their lives. We know they’re dating…we see the pictures in Saint-Tropez, and Miami Beach. We have watched them 'come-out' at the MTV Music awards.

I don’t know which of them thought of just close family and friends, but that’s so smart. Isn’t the point of a wedding to be with the people that mean the most to you? I mean really so if it’s 30 or 300…do it for the right reasons. If your ring is a pebble or 16 carats, what does it mean if the marriage fails?

So maybe this couple is finally married, I just wish them well. Being a celebrity and dating, even for 6+ years is one thing. Being a celebrity and being married completely different. Instead of speculating if she’s pregnant, if they’re married, what size her rock is, shouldn’t we just pray that they stay 'Crazy in Love'? So after all this, am I still jealous, just of her body, then again I'm not in my 20's anymore. Let me be among many who wish you continued success, a lasting friendship and a forever love.

Don’t let the NBA Draft fool you

Today, I went to my favorite Pub-Grub place Dukes in Greenwich Village. It was PACKED!!! I wondered why and then saw the TV…The Final Four Basketball game.

So I walked in, it was filled with men…not necessarily a bad thing. 5 televisions all focused on the UCLA/Memphis game. I looked around and realized I was the only woman (sans the waitresses) who was there one of the 45-50 that was really enjoying the game.

My love of sports came from my dad (yes a proud member of the “Daddy’s Girl” club). When I was younger, I felt like the son he always wanted (I was there washing the car, changing the oil etc.) until my brother was born (10 yrs later). I was a tomboy yet could ‘clean-up well’. Most guys loved the fact that I was as passionate about sports as they were. I was a good date.

Going to a Big-East school, only fueled my passion for the game. As a member of the track team, we were the only ones allowed into the gym while the basketball players practiced. Why? We shared the gym and locker rooms. Being a commuter school inside our sizeable gym was where we practiced during the winter because running in the snow…not an option. Over 85% of the guys were headed to the pro’s, the rest went to the European Leagues and yes, dating a basketball player also had its benefit. So what caused me to write about Basketball today? Pure nostalgia.

Yes, I’m feeling my age. More than that, I looked at this game, these particular players and saw - youth. I looked at the cheerleaders and remembered the time I fell off the shoulders of my 6’4” spotter…OUCH!! A time where the future is a promise not yet fulfilled. I marveled at the energy, their determination and yes some of them had tattoos. That’s the only thing I really hated seeing (but that’s a blog for another day).

I guess the bottom line is that I know that the NCAA has tightened up their rules, but there are people out there (again, you know who you are) who will try to take advantage of these young men. They dangle the almighty dollar, fame and all the women you can handle. The smart ones finish school; continue to play for the love of the game and the rest is a bonus. The others begin to believe they are invincible, believe what their ‘boys’ are telling them. As we say in the business…”They begin to believe their own press.” Just take a look at the proposed draftees, only 7 out of 30 are either in their junior or senior year. Why isn’t the NBA putting a limit on this??

The bottom line, if you’re good, you will have amazing things happen in your career. If you are smart, you will save some money for the day when you can no longer play. If you can understand there is a possibility that you may get injured and never play again you will not leave school early, because that degree will provide you with a back-up option. I’m not saying don’t have fun. Shoot, right now I wish I could have some fun, cuz this grown-up stuff sucks!! I am saying that you’ve come too far to be blinded by the moment. Derrick Rose, I know you’re the supposed #1 draft pick but you’re just a freshman. Finish school…the NBA will be there. Please remember, you’re only as valuable to them as long as your knees work (Patrick), and you have star quality (Mike, Shaq). Create a future value for your self, I promise you; you won’t play for the rest of your life. You will get old and some days, and it will seem sooner than you expect.
So just look at all the views, all the options, and make the right choice. Good Luck!

Disclaimer: Yes I do know these guys, and no I didn’t date the above 3 mentioned.