Respect is learned...so can someone teach the next generation?

For some reason I feel it necessary to begin with the following disclosure: “While I don’t have children of my own, I am an aunt, auntie, tiá, and ‘other-mother’ to the children of family and friends. These opinions are based on my love, passion, and desire to nurture the “little people” in my life and to help them become the best people possible.”

There!

What the hay is happening to our young people? They won’t pull up their pants (boys of ALL race, some girls are doing it – yes, folks, I’ve seen it with my own eyes), they continue to be loud and un-ruley and they are seeing the bad behavior of their parents and thinking it’s ok. ARGH!!

Here is a real story – I was on the train in NY recently when a group of school children entered. They couldn’t have been more than 6^th or 7^th grade. When a teacher reprimanded a young woman telling her to hold on and stop stepping on people as the train jerked her around, her fellow male classmate told the teacher “shut the ‘F’ up”. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I looked back and forth between the teacher and student, waiting for her reply…willing her to be strong….hoping that she would be like Sr. Mary Margaret and give him what for. Instead she just looked away – dejected and defeated.

“Have you lost your right mind?” I asked this kid – not to be confused with the mind he ‘left’ at home or where ever he was and thought he could talk to an adult any way he wanted. At this point he is trying to stare me down…obviously he didn’t get the text message that I have the original eye-brow arched stare and don’t easily scare. “What would your mother say to hear you speaking to an adult like that? This is a full-grown woman and not one of your little playmates. She was just looking out for your friend and deserves your respect. You should apologize”. The train went quiet, my heart was pounding and to my surprise – he did it. He said “sorry’, just above a whisper, but he did it. The teacher looked at me and mouthed “thanks”; I winked my acknowledgement and went back to reading my book. The next stop was mine, I got off and don’t know what happened after that. Hopefully he didn’t loose his mind again. I can dream right?

What this generation responds to, are the adult antics that they see. If a parent has a few drinks and drives with no consequences, it must be ok because you got where you needed to go safely. If uncle has a gun…well, it must be ok right because no one got shot. To create a flying saucer, have it released and then have an entire country on the edge of their seat, hoping that the ‘little boy inside’ is ok, only to find out that it’s a hoax…well, what harm did it really do right?

Where is the responsibility? Where are the responsible adults who are teaching them right from wrong? Where are the adults that are willing to say to a kid ‘straighten up and behave’? Where are the parents willing to be responsible for raising children that abide by the laws, treats others as they want to be treated and dare I say, actually do something instead of just drinkin’, druggin’ and wearing those ooh-so-low pants?

They do exist. I see my nephew a smart, well-behaved kid who loves sports, reading, his parents, grandparents and me. I see my friends’ daughters, who actually write me emails and ask my opinion. They often bounce ideas off me, and while they do think of me as a ‘auntie-friend’ and we have fun together, they are respectful. I have two friends that have just birthed the next generation of men (well not the entire generation, each had 1 son). I’m sure that they will teach them to respect adults, cherish women, right from wrong, and knowing them…they will be the kind of men very lucky women will have in 2040.

Why is a young person who is doing what is right such a surprise…shouldn’t it be the norm? I’m tired of stories about suburban teens getting hooked on drugs, girls being raped (or not –another blog ARGH!!) or college pro players being shot ON CAMPUS at a campus sponsored event. It may be simplistic, but …can’t we all just get along?