This Valentines Day...let's give the guys a break

Love sculpture - New York, NY

I feel like the last several posts have been...shall I say, a bit 'political'. In an effort to change focus, let me say that I am a total, complete and true die-hard romantic. I make no apologies to anyone who says I'm crazy and it doesn't exist. I've been in that kind of dreamy love before so I know it does.

I believe in first-true love. I believe in real tight hugs, kisses and stolen glances from across the room. I believe in walking down the street, holding the hand of your partner and not having your hands stuffed in your pockets. I believe in couples walking together and not one ahead of the other. I believe that when you are so deeply and completely in love, there isn't another feeling like it in the world. I also believe that these types of expressions of love and affection shouldn't just be on Christmas or the second most expensive day of the year - Valentines Day. It should be year-round and maybe for a lucky few it is.

I'm not saying that February 14th shouldn't be celebrated. Hey, I think Leap-Year (Feb 29th) should be declared a national holiday (then again it's my birthday, so I'm a bit bias...). I love any reason to party, get/give a gift and just have a good time. Shoes on sale - order a good steak; friend lost some weight - hey you must go dancing; told a good joke...I'm all for a pitcher of Sangria. I love to be with friends and lovers and party until dawn. That's why I feel so bad for guys this week, but I do wonder two things:

1 - Why it is expected that guys have to spend money (in some cases money they don't have) on flowers (that are actually cheaper if you buy them the day before) and chocolate just on this day. I also know some guys that take this opportunity to buy the lingerie that they 'think' their significant other wants. It makes me wonder if it's more like what they want. I've heard a guy say "she gets what she wants and so do I" - either way just get the right size (for your own sake!!)

2 - Why women put so much pressure on their significant other to 'come through or don't come home'. I would rather have flowers 'just because' when it's more thoughtful vs. getting them because the person in my life feels he 'has to'. Talk about a lot of pressure. It's just not fair.

Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to receive flowers and while I'm not a chocolate kind of girl, a surprise slice of my favorite Lemon Cake would be nice. Then again...so would a walk in the park or him sitting through a 'chick-flick' once in a while. I also know that getting a surprise just because for me, would mean more.

This is probably the only time I feel sorry for guys - it's a lot of pressure to come through. I want to propose something to all my girls. Let's either give them a break and/or give them valentines gifts as well. I mean fair is fair right?

Maybe this is the is the year that we get back to basics. Maybe this is the year we celebrate just having someone special in our lives vs. the amount of money that can be spent for this one 'day to celebrate love'. I want love, the spirit of love, the passion of love, the mystery of love, and the love of love to be 365 days a year. Told you I'm a romantic. Let me however say if you want to pick a real day to celebrate - make it the day of your lovers birth after all, if they weren't born, you wouldn't be together right??

What I'm hoping is that love will be more than a day, like Christmas is more than just about a gift. I'm hoping that love, mutual respect and true partnership will be the calling card for 2009. I still hope that your heart is open and loves walks in.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Love sculpture - Brooklyn, NYC

Is being an African American man in politics the new “IT factor”, or is electing Michael Steele to the GOP a way to “ block, saying ‘NOT’” safely.

Ok, so if this offends anyone I'm sorry in advance. If you have a different opinion and/or thoughts about this, please let me know. I'm willing to listen and learn.

I must admit that there are times I walk past CNN on TV, catch a glimpse of President Obama and pause. It takes me a second to remember yes, we have an African-American man who is President of the United States. I can’t be the only one, who has experienced this. I’m sure as we hear more of the ‘new voice’ in the administration, the more ‘common’ shall we say it will become.

President Obama has begun forward movement of his agenda and I believe that the stimulus package was a great beginning. Even though the Dow did dip to just above 8,000 the day after this passed, I’m hopeful that this will help stimulate the economy. Yes there have been some other early challenges, but he doesn’t seem to be the kind of man who will be easily daunted.

There is a part of me that has become cynical. At one time I believed that our government was made up of “we’re-thinking-of-what’s-

best-for-the-people-who-put-us-in office” kind of people. Then, this year’s election. I questioned why Sen. McCain who had months to announce a running mate, waited until AFTER then Sen. Obama picked his. More so, I wondered why Palin?

I remember driving to visit my family when a friend emailed me “McCain picks Palin for VP”. I responded like so many others “Who?” While I don’t think she was the best woman/person that the GOP had to offer, I do understand the strategy behind it and it was brilliant. ‘Let’s get the 18 million people who voted for Hillary on our side.’ You see how well it worked for them right? This is what makes me wonder if the GOP has done it again. Do they think that by picking an African American to head a party, which is clearly in trouble, will create new interest? What the GOP has done again, is leaping without sincere thought or a clear direction. Let me just be blunt…African American people are not going to become Republicans or follow this new drummer just because he is African American.

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Michael Steele, the first African-American chairman of the Republican National Committee makes me think that now, being an African American male is H-O-T! Of course after 6 rounds of voting, this ‘win’ didn’t come easily. He finally beat out Katon Dawson, the chairman of the South Carolina party, who had been criticized for belonging to a whites-only country club, a membership he resigned before this election began. Stupid me, I didn’t think whites-only country clubs still existed.

Michael Steele, at the Republican National Convention coined the "Drill Baby Drill" chant that was taken up by McCain and Palin to push for more offshore drilling. Most recently, he is also the man who asked GOP lawmakers to close ranks and cast 177 “no” votes when the stimulus bill was before the House. The bill however passed.

Mr. Steels suggests that he wants to lay a new foundation; develop new relationships; make progress with small donors (the common man) as well as the ‘fat’ cats; he seeks to increase the number of minorities to the Republican party who may have shun it in the past and reclaim the Northeast. God Help us…sorry, that was my out-side voice. So far the smartest and most honest thing I’ve heard him say is he realizes that this won’t turnaround overnight.

It seems to me – the cynic – that the GOP is trying HARD to do a few things and yet maybe trying too hard.
First, they are trying to separate themselves from the Bush administration quickly and by all means necessary.

Secondly, the GOP wants people to know they are inclusive and will welcome everyone. With Steele in a position of power, it sends a message that this party has been ‘misidentified as one that doesn’t care, insensitive and unconcerned about minorities or doesn’t want to knock down color barriers – these labels couldn’t be further from the truth. After all they did appoint him an African-American.

Third, maybe they are looking past all the Sarah Palin hype/fallout and looking for a potential African-American candidate of their own in 2012…hmmm. After all, President Obama already did the hard part.

Finally, selecting an African-American chairman, no matter what you think of it, is redefining the party’s image. Only time will tell what this new image is. For now, being African-American it HOT!!

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Still Michael Steele frightens me. Steele has already said that he “would move aggressively to take on the Democrats.” Steele suggested that he was looking forward to ‘engaging Mr. Obama in the months ahead; that it would be ‘an honor to spar with him’. (Technically, isn’t he supposed to address him as President Obama?) Gee, that doesn’t sound like someone who is willing to work across the isle, show respect, or willing to listen to different views. It sounds like the same ‘ol my way or the highway’ Republican Party to me.

To his defense, I will say that my research as it were, shows that Mr. Steele did verbally attack former President Bush on the handling of the war and said his response to Katrina was a “monumental failure.” He was at the losing end of that fallout. How the tides and attitudes are changing for the party.

Can we just say it already; many feel Mr. Steele is a ‘token’. He will never be Colin Powell and even Colin Powell; a well-respected, African-American FORMER Republican changed, political parties when he had enough. Even if you don’t agree with Steele, is it fair to say that he is a token because he is an African-American Republican. Likewise is it fair to say that only Obama can be the messenger of change – the visionary? I don’t think so. See I am trying to be fair.

Although there are many in the Republican Party in general, Mr. Steele will still find his self-surrounded by racist, radicals, elitist, and extremist. These type of people don’t think that African-American, or any other minority have a place in the White House and I’m sure a dew are having a tough time dealing with the his appointment. Let us remember Rush Limbaugh’s comments last week about President Obama. What does Mr. Steele have to say about this, and/or does he agree with him?

How will he deal with his staunch, right wing GOP supporters like O'Reilly, Limbaugh and Hannity? When they open their mouths to bad-mouth minorities and homosexuals, what will Mr. Steele say or do then? Will he tow the party line, or show a ‘kinder and gentler GOP’? Would you believe there are some who still say that the only reason – and this makes me laugh – Obama won is because the minority population came out in droves. While this may have been the biggest voter turnout since – well forever, folks didn’t elect President Obama because of what he looks like, I know I didn’t. I didn’t care that he was bi-racial, or went to Harvard, or has a seemingly lovely family. I voted for him because he is truly unlike anyone else who was running this year. He offered the country a new vision, a positive change and the hope for a brighter future.

What it seems to me, and call me crazy, the GOP needs to counter (the Obama factor) by putting Mr. Steele in a position to ‘take on the president’ so that those that might not agree, don’t seem racist. Mr. Steele, like Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, is a ‘pull yourself up by your boots strap kind of guy’. Hey, I also believe you have to work hard and those that are constantly looking for a hand out, need to get a grip. However, in this economy what if you don’t have boots, or shoes or socks to pull up? Then what?? If you have 2 men of the same ‘group’ going at each other, doesn’t’ that cancel out any potential racial factor? Hey, I'm just asking so don’t kill me!

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There have been so many changes in the last month I can barely keep up. What I hope for (among many things) is that this country can get back on the right track. That means reminding our political officials to work together for the good of the people that elected them in the first place. Yes, that means the little people and even those among us that have a few billion to rub together. We need to focus on the economy, get the jobs that are so desperately needed and don't forget the environment.

I want to be of the generation that rejoices in the fact that this 2009 administration, Senate and House are working to abolish racism by putting in key positions people of all backgrounds, all ethnicities, all sexual orientations. That they are looking for success, not setting you up for failure. If that means being Black is the new ‘Black’, then rock on!

In the end whether Mr. Steele or President Obama is the ‘right person’ only time will dictate. In the meantime another African American is creating hope, cracking a ceiling, breaking down the door and walking into a new challenge coming this far by faith. For these two African-American men, it must be good to be them at this moment in history.

SUPER BOWL 43 and NBC, not hurting in this economy

Well, it’s not as exciting as Obama taking the oath of office, but…IT’S SUPER BOWL TIME. Since I really don’t care that much about either of the teams (maybe next year Jets!!), it’s all about food and the commercials.

I’m really proud to say, that I had a hand in working with one of the top 10 Super Bowl commercials of all time…EDS 'Hurding Cats’ in 1998. It was Super Bowl XXXV, my first real PR client and what a blast it was!! I remember having a Super bowl party at my house and shushing people when the commercial came on. The Baltimore Ravens defeated the New York Giants 34-7. It still gives me such pride…my baby!!! I think the only other commercial that makes me smile and gives me such a ‘warm-fuzzy’ is the original “Mean Joe Green” commercial. If memory serves me, it’s the first commercial I remember watching the game with my dad…hence my love of the game and the commercials that makes the Super Bowl so special.

I think the only thing that disturbs me this year about the Super Bowl, isn’t if it’s going to be a good game. If there are enough Buffalo wings, chili, snacks and beverages, that’s the making for a good time. What upsets me is the staggering amount of money it costs for 30-seconds of commercial time. NBC said on the eve of Sunday's Super Bowl that it has sold 69 advertising spots for the game, pushing total ad revenue for the event to a record $206 million. That’s $3million for 30-seconds of airtime.

The network said its total of $261 million in ad revenue for all of Super Bowl day also is a record, calling it an especially impressive feat in the middle of the economy's steep downturn.

Did you know…
There are a few companies that are bowing out this year due to economic realities; FedEx, Charmin, and GM. Good for you!!

What is really sad is apparently, after laying off 1,400 employees last month, Budweiser Brewer’s new Belgian owner is going for a full 4 ½ min of airtime. That’s just over $25million. Guess what’s what happens when you cut your employees; you have a little extra cash to ‘spare’. You should be ashamed!! Please know that I’ll NEVER drink your beer again, and will encourage everyone I know to drink anything other than Budweiser products. When a company is willing to cut that many people, claim they are cash poor and then turn around and spend it on a commercial tells me a lot about your morals and ethics.

Sorry for the rant. Well, I hope that the game is a good one but as I said for me, this year it’s all about the commercials. I'm looking forward to the Jets coming back strong this year and playing in 2010. Here’s to the best team winning. Here's to commercials that are hopefully worth the money spent.

To tired to write...but here's a joke for ya.

I want to thank those of you who have read my blog and have offered prayers and positive thoughts during my surgery (see previous post if you have no idea what I'm talking about :-)). I'm still a bit to tired to think of anything "deep" to write, so today's post is from my mom. She wanted to cheer me up with a joke and I found it funny...I hope you do too. Maybe you have to be catholic to really understand it...I don't know. I'm off to take more meds...see ya soon.

Strange Customs

A distinguished-looking young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course, child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father! Next."

3 Years, 4 Days and 5 Surgeries later,a Long and Crazy Road

"When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." Victor Frankel.

This may be the last time I write about this, in this format. I'm not going to go into all the history, but in preparing for this day I can almost say, I'm at peace. Of course I'm writing this several days before so it will post on the 22nd without me and I don't know what will happen between now and then.

I've done the stress reduction classes, I'm under a holistic care program, I've taken all the vitamins, minerals, eye of frog and tongue of a wild bird only found on the highest mountain on the 44 planet of Zar....you get the point. I'm trying not to let the other things in my life, stress me out too much. I'm remembering to breathe and enjoy every bite of food. I am listening to music that makes me want to shake my money maker... and reconnecting with old friends who make me laugh at the memories of our youth. I am trying not to cry.

Today is the day that 3 and 5 becomes my magic numbers, and life takes on a new meaning. This is the beginning of my life and I'm going to embrace what ever the outcome of this surgery is. I will get my groove back.

I am adding this on Jan 21 - I thought that I would be fine. I was praticing all that I wrote above. I was really doing ok. Then the phone calls from the hospital started "You will be here tomorrow right?" duh!! "You do know what's going to happen right" Duh again!! You need to do XYZ and no eating/drinking beyond midnight". Does that mean I can get drunk now?? PLEASE??? I know that won't help so why bother right? I tried to be positive and to remain calm and it worked...to a point. Now as I take a break from packing my overnight bag...I'm burning Lavender candles and my heart rate is calming down. I will have a friend with me and you know what - sometimes all you need is someone there to hold your hand, make you laugh and tell you it will be ok. To wish for a hug is almost more than I dare to wish for, but I now it will be there as well...so...

I think the next date will be 8 weeks from now...that will be the test to see if we toast to success...or we toast a completion. Maybe we will toast to both, but I know THAT DAY I will be having champagne with my friends and I'll be at peace. No Matter What...I'm ready for this to be over. I'm taking my life back!

IF you happen to read this post between Jan 22 and 8 weeks from now, if you could help visualize a hole getting smaller and smaller until there is absolutely no space left; that not even a sliver of air can pass through; that it is completely sealed off so tight that nothing can pass or penetrate. Finally that this hole is completely healed and I am made whole again. If you could just hold me in good thoughts and good health, I would be eternally grateful.