Are we a marriage-disposable nation?

Photo of Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil by: Bauer-GriffinI'll admit, I'm a sucker for entertainment ("news") gossip. Not so much the where is Britney shopping at 2:00am, or who was seen at what "give-me-all-the-freebies-you-can" at Sundance. [Let me say...I've nothing against a 'gifting', but when you make a few million a movie, do you really want me to believe you can't afford the $250.00 jeans you're wearing.]

I am one of those completely hopeless romantics that likes the celebrity couples - any couple who are together, loving, laughing, holding hands, and in it for the long hall. Of course you never know what happens behind those closed doors, but I want to believe that they are happy. I want to believe that there is a happily-ever-after, because if you don't believe...what else is there?

I'm also a tech-a-holic..I love technology. The fact is, things used to take hours, days, weeks, months to find. Now...click, click and here it is.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

What really gets me is that in this day of modern technology, we seem to be creating a generation of "must have it ALL now, and if I don't like it...throw it away". Everything must be instant, bigger and better than anyone...EVER. If it's not, then move on to the next bigger, better, faster...

So I found this really interesting. Amy Weinhouse is a celebrity, and for all her many 'unique' qualities, she believes in long term, and is willing to fight for it. Blake Fielder-Civil, who's been rumored to be threatening to divorce Amy can't, and being behind bars has nothing to do with it.

"Under English law no divorce proceedings could be commenced until a year has passed since the date of the marriage," says Alison Green, head of the family law department at Mackrell Turner Garrett's London office. They will be married 1 year in May 2008.

Maybe the English have something here. They know that even in the best of circumstances, the first year (and sometimes second, and third year) of marriage can be difficult - so give it a chance, don't be so quick to throw it away.

When I look at some of the recent celebrity marriages (elaborate, expensive and photographed for the world to see) and their divorces (where they seek their privacy-does anyone else see the contradiction), it makes me wonder "just how much work do you do, to make it work after the party's over, and the press goes home?" What causes the pledge for life one moment, and then the fighting over the dog the next??

For the rest of the human population, disposable marriages begin when he leaves the toilet seat up - you threaten to glue it down; she wants you to hang out with her instead of going out with your friends - she's a nag; the dreaded conversation of saving money, buying a home, the "X-factor", children, 'in-laws'...ARGH!!!

No one ever said that it would be easy. Some dream of their wedding, others just look for the gifts they can return and cash in for ... the $250.00 jeans. For someone like me who has parents still together after 46 years, loving, laughing, holding hands, cuddling and being friends - that's what I want.

Of course like life, nothing is promised.

So does that mean you should throw away your relationship - or cash in that All-Clad, just because it's not perfect...not just yet. Let's learn a bit from the British. Unplug the microwave of life and love. Let's not make things so black/white; right/wrong; you vs.me; or life/death (unless it truly is). Let's slow down, and let our relationships cook on a slow flame. Put minor disagreements on the back-burner. Make you and your partner - the person YOU CHOOSE, the main ingredient...the "X" should be just that...X'd out of your lives! Stir gently, yet constantly, add lots of things that are healthy, and a dash of spice. Allow for the true richness of your relationship to blend, become hearty, and hopefully last a life-time.

I know this is my view...but what do you think?

From Here to There

So today I decided to show something a bit different. A view that so many don't take the time to see.
How many times have you been on a flight and really took the time to look out the window. There are some beautiful views...and there's no reason not to capture them.


I love flying, I love travel and not much of that has happened lately, but that will change. There is beauty above as there is below. There is magic that if time is taken to appreciate it, it will change your view of the world forever. Maybe in my next life...yea I'm one of those that believes there will be another opportunity to get it right. I'd like to be able to fly in the space shuttle , and be able to capture a view of the earth - to see first hand the beauty of this planet that so many - for reasons I don't understand - want to ruin. To be able to see the beauty of the oceans, the rise and fall of the mountains. I'd love to be able to see the shape of the wind patterns, and be able to view all the countries I've visited from a new angle.

There is just so much beauty in the world - maybe if more people would take the time to...smell the roses...or look through the eyes of someone else, things would improve.

So the next time you're on a flight...take a look out the window - sometimes you'll be surprised what you see. Take a photo and then marvel at the beauty that has been created. Share those moments of beauty and peace.

Question of the month...

I'm actually beginning to enjoy writing. I look forward to my Friday - reviewing the week - contemplating my personal view. Sometimes I already know on Monday ...but wait until Friday to stay in the pattern that I've designed. Sometimes those early weeks thoughts stay the same, sometime they change.

This week was a jumble of thoughts- political, desires, global warming (it was really warm here this week) children, cookies...see a jumble of things. Then in the moment when I was quiet, on the NYC subway of all places it came to me. I've chosen to spend the year reading 44 books (my birthday gift to me - 1 for each year on the planet). That's the goal. The classics, the chick books, books on technology, books on better health...any and everything (if you have any suggestions, please email me).

I'm open to any book suggestions, so please feel free to send me some.

A Ramble: The More Things Change...

Definitely the more they stay the same.

So far this year, had so many things going on that I'm not sure what to write about. I can honestly say that I am THRILLED that the New Year is finally come (despite me losing my wallet on New Years Eve...and no I wasn't drunk but I digress). 2007 was a year of challenges; I know that 2008 will be a year that I am able to get a lot more things done, and hopefully be the person I want to be.

What is it...that 'thing I want to be?'...I'm still working that part out, but I know that "CHANGE" seems to be a running theme - Nation, no Worldwide.

Politically Obama seems have surprised a lot of people - especially Hillary, by winning the first round of caucuses. In a state where there are less than 7% minority, the most Jr person in the political arena won. What does that say...is America - or at least Iowa ready for a change??

It's warm, really warm here this week. I'm not complaining, but when you have 62degree weather in the Northeast in the second week in January, you have to believe the 'global warming' chant.

The beginning of the Award season...you know the Golden, Peoples, Academy and others. Only this year due to the strike, there won't be a "Golden Globes", and I'm sad. Sad that the writers still don't have an agreement to their strike and are out of work. I've been there and know that being out of work isn't fun. Why won't the big-boys learn to play nice and share. I know interesting concept - SHARE. I'll miss the hair, dresses and jewels I can only dream of wearing, but I do applaud the actors for banding together and not crossing the picket line.

Final thoughts this week...the Spears girls - Jamie and Britney - they need help. When the public learn to stop enjoying their suffering, and the Spears find another way to SCREAM OUT FOR HELP (photo ops, and gas stations runs don't do it), then and only then will they realize that being a "star" that all the money in the world is not worth harming the next generation of children.

Who would have thought, all those months ago that Kevin would be the 'sane one'?

Is the New Year really a beginning

So Happy New Year.

That time when most people around the world look forward to closing the door on the past 365 days and open themselves to the beginning of something new. Like the birth of a baby, we move toward the 'new' year with wonderment and hope. Sometimes it just makes me wonder if we are just fooling ourselves.

You see all the commercials "New Year, New You!", and this time is the best time (well, besides 60 days before summer, or your wedding, or any major holiday when you want to wear something that pulls the focus on your body) to begin that exercise program or diet. I want to scream that this amount of commercialism is truly just a ploy to set a person up for failure. I mean, we all march into it with the best of intentions, and then 21 days later, that Lemon cake, or mound of pasta is calling...no SCREAMING...EAT, just 1 bite!! Well 3lbs of pasta and 1/2 a chocolate cake later...is that New You, the YOU, you wanted to be?

I've been told, as I'm sure you have, "Where one door closes, another opens". Well what happens when all the doors look the same, or there are doors no more? Makes me wish I lived on an island where the windows were open all the time, and locked doors not necessary.

I'm not sure if after all the confetti has been cleaned up, and champagne bottles are in the trash, will make a person forget the previous years pain, disappointment, struggles, or tears. Likewise, I'm not sure if the eternal optimist will say that there is something to be learned by it...I know for me...the last 353 days have been a mix of pain, sadness, and yes, even an occasional laugh. For me, there was no 'real new year', because I'm sadly still a product of 2007's medical issues. Even on Jan 18 - 365 days after this journey began, it won't even be an end...it will just be another day, trying to survive, being brave and leaning on faith.

I don't think that this New Year, New Me will happen until I get the news...the last surgery was a success and we're in the home stretch.
Then I can celebrate.
That will be the day that I drink champagne, and sing Happy Days are here again.
That will be the day I can truly have my cake...and eat it too!